So
Chat look here Chat look complaining. I want y'all to know something from this point forward this water park is going to run with greater efficiency. Okay. This is not, it's going to run better from this point forward. I'm not going to have nobody complaining. Y'all seen the reviews. I've seen the reviews. It is what it is. Let's go. Ladies and gentlemen, Goob Lagoon episode what, five? This episode five, chat?
Of the Goob Lagoon? Ladies and gentlemen, look here. If you were not here last episode I Got a recap For y'all Pete this
If you were not here yesterday, here are some things that we have done. We added the brain-eating amoeba zone Over here. This is the area of the waterpark where you take a risk of getting a brain-eating amoeba if you come over here Okay, um We have two new toilets right here new and improved toilets and we have four top of the line Pristine
Showers Top of the line pristine showers and we added fountains to the pools, okay Fountain here fountain in the brain in the Miba zone double fountain here lifeguard ring and The goobla doon trademarked chill zone. Need to catch a vibe? Come to the chill zone? Lord have mercy, you might be onto something.
Oh my goodness! That's so clean!
No. No, why give me a genuine reason why you would not have a fountain here. If you're coming to a water park, you're swimming anyway. Matter of fact, hold up. Oh my goodness, I fear that is beautiful. Also, if you were not here, we got to go grab some hot dogs real quick. Man, I really wonder where I'm going to get these hot dogs from.
Welcome to Kmart.
Look here, posters? Wait, what do posters do? What is that?
Okay, let's put these over here. Drop these right here. There we go, we got them on stock. Should I get a poster low-key? Ladies and gentlemen type one if you are proud of what the goob lagoon looks like right now We are go our next steps are gonna be improving the the brain-eating amoeba zone over there We kind of need some more chairs should we build some more more chairs? I got no money though. We got to do it like this
We got $24, let's relax we got to build up some money also if you were not wait a minute This area is clean now Employee area Janitor oh Oh yeah, look. We do need a janitor, but we're going to have to wait on that.
Okay?
We got to save up money for a janitor. Also, we fired our employee, Benjamin, last night and we hired Atlas. I heard that Atlas was secretly selling drugs to my customers, so that's a little bit of a problem, but as long as he gets the job done, it's whatever. Yo Atlas, it's going to be a busy day today, bubba. Lock in.
I don't want to see no built up lines. You got me?
Let's go.
The duck?
The ducks are clean! up lines you got me let's go ladies and gentlemen ladies and gentlemen the goob lagoon is open again today. It's real hot outside. I know y'all trying to go swimming. Move out of the way. What you want sir? Team 4 hours with a slide pass.
I got you right here. Thank you so much. Atlas, speed up! People are leaving! Hey, hey, hey, you really thought, you really thought you was going to get in here for free? You thought you was going to get in here for the free ski, huh?
You really thought?
Get out of here! I just got $30 from that, did you see that? Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, hurry up! People are leaving because of
you.
Atlas. Oh my. Hey, how you doing? Jamie? What you want? You want four hours? Senior with a slide pass. Got you right here. Thank you so much. What's good? What you want?
What you want? Lottie? 4 hours with it's a 4 hours team with a slide pass. Got you right here too. Thank you so much Lottie. Yo, what's good Estelle? What's good Estelle? How you doing? Six hours team with a slide pass. Got you right here. Thank you so much. You have a beautiful time at the Goob Lagoon. What's good Rhodes? What you want? Eight hours team with a slide pass.
You need a job, Bubba. Oh no, somebody's drowning in the brain eating amoeba zone! Here! Oh my, hold on Madeline, I got you! Madeline!
You're good.
Look at that, I don't wanna hear no complaints about that right there. I just saved someone's life. Do you understand me? Let me repair this slide real quick. There we go. Yep.
Are y'all enjoying it? Somebody waited too long for a lemonade. Are you dead serious right now? Hey, how can I help you, Estelle? What you want? You want a lemonade?
Somebody's drowning again. I can't do this. You gotta be kidding me. Hey hot dog with ketchup Got you right here. Thank you so much Lottie. Appreciate that. Hold on. I'm a savior Two lives saved immediately, okay What's good?
Four hours, team. What a slide pass. Got you right here. Yo, Atlas, I don't pay you almost $300 a day for you to just sit here and have people waiting all day. I cannot do this.
Do you understand? Hey, how y'all doing?
What can I get y'all today? What's good, Nadia?
Can I get you a lemonade with ice and lemon? I sure can. Thank you so much. Hey, how y'all doing? What can I get y'all today? What's good, Nadia? Can I get you a lemonade with ice and lemon? I sure can. Thank you so much. What you want, a hot dog with mustard on it? Got you right here. Thank you. Yo, what's good, Bruno? Where's Tognole at? Y'all remember Bruno Tognole from Dancing with the Stars?
Okay, you want a plain hot dog, you're based for that, not gonna lie. Thank you so much. Have a beautiful stay at the Goob Lagoon. What can I get for you, Eden? Just a regular lemonade, I got you right here. What else could go wrong at the Yubla Game? How old are you? You really think?
No you ain't diving. You get out of my waterpark.
I got, I slipped on a stain. I slipped on a stain.
I slipped. You get out of my waterpark right. Get out of here.
I'm so sorry about the stains y'all.
I'm going to get those swept up quick. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry about the stains on I'm gonna get those swept up quick I'm so sorry Chat like hello chat like hello, you know what I mean? Like what is this? The trash is overflowing. I can't I can't Oh my god, there's brain eating amoebas in the pool Lord have mercy no There's brain eating amoebas in the pool. Lord have mercy, no! There's brain-eating amoebas in the pool!
Watch out! Oh my!
Worst park ever, shut up, loser! I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this.
I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this.
I'm gonna get this.
I'm gonna right here. Thank you so much. You have a safe trip at the Google. Thank you. How you doing? Hey, thank you. I just pee. Okay, there we go. What can I get you? You just want to play in hot dog. Got you right there. Thank you so much for shopping
at the Google. What's good, Pearl? Okay a plain hot dog got you right there. Thank you so much for shopping at the Google Okay, plain hot dog again. Thank you. What's good a sale? Where's Adele at? Okay, what you want lemonade with a lemon got you right now people are constantly wait ma'am wait There's a stain right there ma'am ma'am. Wait just a second. Thank you Oh, you're in. Hey, hey, hey, yo, Tommy, you took the risk coming to the brain eating amoeba zone, man up and jump in.
Get in there.
You gotta repair the brain eating amoeba zone real quick. Arm band check. Chat, arm band check. You really, hey Veronica, get out of my park. Okay, everybody having a good time at the Google Lagoon? I hope so. Hey, how you doing, Laney?
What I'm gonna need you to do is get off the diving.
Hey, you want a lemonade with lemon? All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right.
All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, appreciate that. Hot dog with mustard again, thank you. The trash is overflowing. I need another employee right now, do you understand, chat? I get some deodorant or something. He really sitting there celebrating being stanky.
I'm gonna get this, my goodness, ma'am, are you okay? Okay, I thought you didn't have a wristband on for a minute. Chat, the next objective is push cheaters out of the park. Be on wristband check, okay? We gotta be looking for some wristbands. Let's make sure thing, all right?
Excuse me. Watch that puddle right there. I'm gonna get this swept up for y'all, thank you. Clean the diving board, up nerd I will though thanks for reminding me excuse me y'all having a good time they're having so much fun look at that haters will say nobody has fun here are you one of the haters that says nobody
has fun yes you chat I need somebody to man the hot dog in the lemonade section It's too much Yo Brock with 10,000 bits, thank you Brock. Hey case. I'm moving the streams of water parks awesome I watch every night and I have a helpful tip for the park. Don't accidentally fall. Okay, you're banned Thank you for offering 10,000 bits your band appreciate that Yo, that's crazy hope things get better for you golden pre-sage you to golden. Thank you. There's more graffiti where
Does that say L part?
Is my chat in here?
Who did this? Oh my goodness, there is stains.
Chat, I can't keep up.
I can't keep up with the man. I can't.
Who wrote L part? Oh my goodness, there is stains off that I can't keep up. I can't keep up with the man. I can't Who wrote L this is not an L part there is man you seen it you seen the same right here You're just trying to get a lawsuit Yo, Mary popping with the TNW Mary popping with the TNW, Mary Poppins with the TN, thank you. Hire a janitor? Yes, let me hire a janitor after I pay off all my legal fees and I'm gonna be left with nothing.
Hey, oh, they've been waiting forever. I'm so sorry, Kobe. I just made that, Lord have mercy, I just made that. Did you witness that shot that I just shot? What's good, buddy? You want both on this? I got you right here. Atlas wrote it. Oh, I'll fire him right now. Don't play with me.
We gotta get more hot dogs, but there's also other stuff I gotta handle. I am so... Why is nobody in the chill zone? Why? Hey, watch out for those stains, ma'am! You just saw him slip right there. Don't walk over it. Thank you Excuse me, let me get that swept up. Excuse me. Thank you Getting them swept up. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience y'all. I'm doing my excuse me
I'm doing my best to keep this part clean for y'all. I really am. I'm so sorry if anybody is offended in any way Okay, I'm really trying my best Kobe there we go. We get rid of this hammer right quick. Anybody waiting on anything any hot dogs just three people at the hot dogs Somebody just wrote in the chat, hashtag Atlas took a break.
What is he doing?
Chat, I'm about to fire him, no joke. Should I fire Atlas? I'm about to fire him, no joke. Should I fire Atlas? I'm about to fire Atlas. Somebody said he's on lunch break. Buddy, it's 4.08pm. It is not lunch time right now.
Hey, how you doing? I'm so sorry for this. Eight hours team with no slide pass. Thank you. People are waiting too long. Now you want to do your job.
I just ran somebody over. Lord have mercy on you. Okay, excuse me. I gotta get some hot dogs.
Welcome to Kmart.
Thank you.
Teehee.
We'll get these hot dogs. Okay, let's go. Poster I can't afford. I gotta, excuse me, excuse me. I'm so sorry for the wait. I'm so pathetic.
I'm so, hello, help. Hey, hey, how y'all doing playing hot dog I got you right here. Thank you so much eat and have a beautiful Have a beautiful trip was good Murphy. You won't mustard on that. Thank you so much We grab this trash right here. Boom. Throw that I missed it didn't break though. We're good. Oh My goodness. It is a disaster right now I can't Lemonade with ice I know it's nasty. I'm gonna get it cleaned up in a minute. What's good, Veronica?
We're dying people are dying ice ice and lemon I'm about to hit the $2,000 mark. Chad, I was here.
Oh my God!
Luis! You're good, Luis. Stay with me.
Let me get out of here. Thank you.
Okay, we're good.
We're okay.
We're okay.
We're okay. We're okay. We're okay. We're Luis. Stay with me. Let me get out of here. Thank you.
Okay, we're good.
We're okay. Ladies and gentlemen, the Goob Lagoon has officially hit the $2,000 mark for the first
time.
Sir, you saw me late. Oh my goodness, Ricardo. You are so dramatic. You are so dramatic, Ricardo.
Stop this.
Ice and lemon. I got you right here. What you want? You want both on this? Here you go There's both for you. Hope you enjoy that hot dog what you want lemonade with ice That is gonna be a lawsuit for real. Yo happy birthday Jordan, thank you.
Happy 22nd birthday Jordan, thank you. She just caught hepatitis. She don't want a hot dog no more? Okay, I'm so sorry about that. I feel so pathetic. Who wrote L Park on this? Seriously? She don't want a hot dog no more? Okay, I'm so sorry about that. I feel so pathetic.
Who wrote L Park on this? Seriously? I gotta pick up trash. I gotta pick up so much stuff. This dookie's gotta go. How y'all doing? You want some lemonade? Okay, here you go. Right here. Lemonade with lemon on it. Thank you so much, Lainey.
You have a... You call this service? What you mean? What you mean? Screw up then! What you gonna do?
Get outta here!
Look here, you're just walking around with Dookie in your bag. Listen here, Delilah, I have no other option. I'm about to lose everything we worked for. Look here, 33 customers, 55% satisfaction rate. That's down from yesterday, but look over here to the left, chat. 81 customers had a fun thought. And you know what else may seem bad, but's a good thing only 42 people slipped if you remember correctly yesterday 44 people slipped only 14 people were bored
we got to make some serious changes hold on on, let me let me uh guys, the park is closed. Guys. Get out of here, Ricardo. Yo, yo, yo, Rose Rose, get out. He was trespassing. Y'all have a good night.
Chad, he was trespassing on everything I love he was. We're going under. We're going under. I have nobody that's got my back nobody has my back chat nobody does Atlas is useless. He takes cigarette breaks every 15 minutes. What am I supposed to do? I Think it's time we hire a janitor
Type one if you agree. Does janitors clean up the water spots too? Let me know. Because if so, then absolutely. We need that. I feel like the Goob Lagoon slide zone didn't get as much use as it should have
Should I put something else there? Dude, I still know who put I Still want to know who wrote L Park right here like who did this? Ladies and gentlemen, everybody get ready to extend a warm welcome to the Goob Lagoon's second employee. We're either going to go Lincoln or Thaddeus.
Lincoln is $180 a day. Homie with the five, thank you. Lincoln is $180 a day, 26% efficiency. Wait he's better. Lincoln's better in every way. Lincoln is literally better in every way and he's less expensive Reroll there's no way I'm wasting a research point on a reroll. I'm sorry. I can't do that I'm sorry. There's no way I can do that right now
What is Atlas doing?
Do it Lord have mercy.
Good job chat. Now there's no janitors for hire. We should have just done Lincoln! You got me all the way messed up. You literally got me all the way messed up. If you think I'm paying three hundred nineteen dollars a day If y'all just would have let me do Lincoln it have been fine, but y'all so that's literally on y'all I told you Jaquan was going to grow up to be a nobody. All these years later Jaquan, you selling me and are you smarter than a fifth grader?
You're one of the smartest kids on earth and you grew up to work at the Goob Lagoon as a janitor for me. Unbelievable. Ladies and gentlemen, everybody extend a warm welcome to the Goob Lagoon's second employee, Jaquan. Where he at, buddy? Where is he? Where's Jaquan at?
Jaquan, you were one of the smartest kids in school. You were so smart that you literally were a kid on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader video game. And you sold me multiple times. And all these years later, you're working minimum wage for me at my water park? That's gonna be shut down any day due to unsafe measures and lawsuits. Welcome aboard Jaquan, champ.
Wait a minute. Don't be you Jaquan. Wait a minute. W2 quad. He's committed to his job. And he's picking up the trash.
Oh my goodness. Wait a minute.
This might be the best.
This might be the best financial decision we ever made.
We are he's off the clock right now. By the way. I just want to tell you all. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. Wait a minute. This might be the best. This might be the best financial decision we ever made It we are he's off the clock right now, by the way, I just want to tell you all that He is literally off the clock right now
Because we're closed and he is going out of his way he is jumping in swimming pools to clean them. I Never thought I'd be saying this chat. W Jaquan. Never thought I'd be saying this. W Jaquan. Get a different cashier, I can't afford it.
I literally can't. I can't afford to hire somebody else. What we're about about to do though was we're about to make some crazy improvements. We got $1,600 what are we doing with it? Chat what are we doing with it? He is actually goaded, oh my goodness, no way. Paint the floor, you talking about over here? I should get the floor until, oh my.
To put in perspective how dirty this is, look at this. Get a maintenance guy. The last maintenance guy that I had put cocaine in the cracks of the floor over here to get the police to arrest me. That is a real story. It actually happened. So no, I'll steer away from maintenance guys for right now.
Thank you though. It happened, go look on the Goobla Goon website. He literally did it, he admitted it. Chat, lock in. It is serious decision making time right now. Do you understand me? First off let's go see what we can research real quick y'all cool with that. Oh
My goodness modern pools we need that so bad Chat we need that so bad. Chat, we need that. Vendor staff.
Bro.
Modern toilets. Modern showers. Yo, Palestinian Prince with the five, thank you. Chat, should we save up another point for modern pools? Wait, we can do that now, hold up. I just need to fix something. Wait, chat.
No way, no way, no way. Yo yo mad with the five thank you. Oh my goodness look at these pools. Oh my goodness this is gonna be so beautiful. Hold up! I tried to put that back on the holder.
Oops, okay.
Now I need one. Ladies and gentlemen, the brain-eating amoeba zone is getting an upgrade. Tell me that's not beautiful. Look here, look here, look here, look here. Type one if you're still looking. I fear that I'm about to cook to an unfathomable degree.
Do you understand me? The goo lagoon is about to look like an entirely new spot. Look at this jump board. We have jump boards.
Chat, which pool? This is $600, by the way. Y'all wanna go peanut pool for now?
And we're just gonna put it right here and we're gonna save the rest. Okay, we're putting a jump board on it. I'm so proud right now. Wait, Chad, does a jump board go in the pool? No. Let's build this.
Chad, I'm so proud. Type one if you're proud right now. This could bring a tear to my eye. My goodness, look at this. Dude, dude, seriously. Chat, my goodness.
Oh my goodness. I'm about to cry tears of joy. This This could not be cleaner. Chat, this seriously, I'm so serious. I'm seriously serious right now.
Whatever.
Chat, look at this. I was here. This is, this is, this is, man, look at this. Look at this dude. I should put some trash cans over here. I Should put some trash cans over here, huh?
Utility modern trash cans
Boom
But I ain't got the money for it, I got $2. It's okay. Chat, welcome to the new and improved
brain-eating amoeba zone. Look at this! We got the peanut-shaped pool with a jump board. Let me test it out, I'll be the first one to test it out.
Jump board testing! Testing I think that was user error. I don't think my customers are actually gonna do that. I Think that was user error error That's fine
There's no way a regular customers gonna jump that far we're good
Let's go to bed wait, I need more lemonade and hot dogs. I'm gonna go ahead stock up on no, I can't I got $2 We're gonna have to keep an eye on that chat we're gonna have to keep an eye on that for real
What you mean lawsuit inbound? We're fine
Ladies and gentlemen Atlas there is gonna be an unbelievable amount of customers. Look at me when I'm talking to you. There is going to be an unbelievable amount of customers that... Hey, I need you to lock in. Stop selling drugs on the side to the customers.
Hey, hey.
Lock in.
Y'all ready, chat? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, The Goob Lagoon has made unfathomable upgrades since just yesterday. So if you want to have a beautiful summertime experience, come to the Goob Lagoon today. Thank y'all so much for being here. Are we serious?
Are we serious? This is how we're starting my day off? Well guess what?
You're drowning.
What do you mean? Why me? This is how we're starting my day off. Well, guess what? You're drowning. What you mean, why me?
Come here. Y'all really thought y'all was gonna sneak? Get out of here, I stand on business. Where'd you, how'd you get your clothes back on? Murder, they're trespassing. Justified, exactly. Somebody's waiting on a lemonade and I gotta go buy some lemonade cuz I didn't
have enough money to do it. Yo, Atlas, Atlas, there's a line, Bubba, lock in. Welcome to what?
Welcome to Kmart.
Lemons. Let me go get somebody a lemonade. Atlas, hurry up. Do you see all the customers? Hurry up, buddy. Here we go.
Hey, what you want, lemonade with ice and lemon? I got you right here, good choice. Thank you so much. Have a good trip at the Goog Lagoon. Yo, I wanna see somebody use this jump board.
Hey!
We got a new jump board over here, somebody wanna come test it out? Tommy, this is gonna be fun. Tommy, you gonna go on the jump board? Oh my goodness, what are you doing over here? Jorge, get in the pool!
Quit playing! No wristband, where? What are you doing over here poor? Hey getting a pool? quit playing No, rich man. Where get out of here loser Hey, somebody come use this completely safe jump board. I Want to see somebody use that chat no joke, I hope it's safe for real like actually I hope it is Wait Tommy's an intruder to hold up Where's Tommy at
Hey Who's in here named Tommy Where's Tom I I just served him the lemonade you gotta be fisting me there's no way are you being a creep there's four showers open you're standing behind
We got three showers open he's on the chairs Get out of here idiot you think it's funny you ain't laughing now, are you Toby?
If anybody gonna use the new jump board? I spent a lot of, I spent a lot of money on that jump board. Somebody use it. Here you go, lemonade with lemon. Thank you so much. You want a plain hot dog?
I got you right here, big dog. Appreciate that. Somebody's panicking on the diving board. Lord have mercy. Okay, hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hey, don't go backwards.
Okay, good. Let me see how this slide works.
Oh my god! They're hitting their head on the fountain! Oh That's a problem Hold on I'ma save you hang on
Here you go. You're good Hey, what can I get you guys today? You want a hot dog with mustard? I got you right here. Hot dog with mustard. That's a treasure, isn't it? Hey, Luis, how you doing? You want ketchup on the hot dog? Thank you so much for being at the Google-a-goo. Please take care.
Jaquan is stuck? Where's Jaquan? Jaquan, oh my goodness. It's the first day
Somebody please use the jump board. I want to see if it works What I missed Ted I did not miss stop playing There's another intruder who how are y'all seeing this and I'm not Juquan we got stains over here Bubba get him clean
Chat I'm about to have a panic attack. Please help me you want to eliminate with ice. I got you right here. No not lemon
That's wasted product, thank you so much you want you want both on this got you right here. Thank you What's good? What's good, what's good? You want plain? Boom, plain. I'll go get some more hot dogs. I'll be right back.
Cody, there we go. Almost hit somebody. Atlas, this looks like a Chick-fil-A drive-thru. Speed up! Welcome to Kmart, thank you. Chat, we're gonna have, Atlas is gonna have to lose his job to a machine.
It is what it is. Somebody's going on the jump board. The jump board is safe, did y'all see that? Chat, the jump board is completely safe, it's good. Hey, how you doing Pearl? You won't limit with this lemonade, thank you. Chat, who's an intruder for real?
Did y'all see an intruder? Jaquan Stainz! You see me, you see me, SteepyCustomer where? Who's stanking up in here? Are y'all enjoying the new peanut? Bruno, Bruno hold up.
Did you see the vertical? I just completely jumped across an entire pool. Hey I got you Bruno here you go thank you Bruno wait that's not safe to go down like that. Lord have mercy! Dude dude dude dude where where is Jaquan at? Jaquan, mop up the water, man. Did we hire a cleaner?
Yes, we did, but you can't tell. Basic lounger is dirty. Huh, whose fault is that? I'm going to go. Chat, where are we getting these employees from, seriously?
Where?
Go for it! You're seriously scared? Are you kidding me? Look, I know it's a little taller than the rest of them, but you gotta lock in. Three, two, one.
Oh, God.
He's okay. He's alright. Yep, he is okay. Somebody, Bianca, hold up, Bianca! Bianca, hold up, Bianca! He's okay, he's all right. Yep, he is okay. Somebody, Bianca, hold up, Bianca.
Lord have mercy, there's a line at the food stand. There you go, Bianca, I'm so sorry, excuse me. There you go, you're good, I got a line to take care of. There we go, yep, we're okay. Atlas, chat, do you see how much I have going on? Lemonade with lemon.
Lemonade with lemon, thank you. Plain hot dog, got you right here. Lord have mercy, please somebody help me. I need more help, I can't do this on my own. Here you go, thank you, I'll be right back. Oh my god. You are losing me money! Hey, hey Rose. Six hours senior with a slide pass.
You better get out of my face. I don't want you to start doing your job now that I step in and do it for you. You better get out of my face right now. You better take a break. Go home for the rest of the day! Thank you so much Lottie, appreciate that. You have a good one. What's good? What's good Kaya? Six hours adult got you right here with no slide pass. You have yourself can the day end can the day end can the day end i'm about to have a full-blown panic attack can the day end please i can't handle
this anymore i can't handle this no longer I need help. I need help bad Chat, please. I need help. Oh What's gross oh my god Okay, hot dog with mustard got you right here. Thank you. I'm sweating in real life because it is. Do you understand how, don't say L Park.
The reason this park is so good is because the manager of the park has such good work ethic and is willing to do all of this just to keep this place running. Don't you dare talk crazy about my park. You understand me? Thank you so much. You have a good one.
I gotta go restock the hot dogs and eliminate. I hope that goes in.
Okay, we're good.
Hurry up, Atlas!
Welcome to Kmart. I gotta go restock the hot dogs and eliminate. I hope that goes in. Okay, we're good. Hurry up Atlas
Welcome to Kmart
Okay hot dogs and lemons there we go. I gotta go somebody's drowning somebody's On which Reese I know there's dookie on the floor y'all y'all don't have to keep that is so this y'all nasty that is that so Yo case dirty diaper with the five. Thank you plain hot dog. Got you right here What you want you just want a regular lemonade got you right here with a regular lemonade. Thank you so much. Hey Hey, hey, Laura. I got time for all this get off the diving board. You understand me Hey regular lemonade got you right here with a regular lemonade. Thank you so much What's good time add ice and lemon to the lemonade, thank you so much appreciate that both on this Valeria
I got you have a good Dive dive in at the goob lagoon
Watch out for those stains y'all Yo, Simon, are you good?
Simon are you okay for real stop that look like it was painful
Chat I'm gonna get the dookie. Where is the Quan at? Excuse me. Where is Jaquan? You just littered right here in front of my eyes. You actually- Get out of here. Matter of fact, just get out of here. You're gonna litter right here in front of my very eyes? Unbelievable. Yo, Ryland. Go, bud! You're good! Jaquan, where is Jaquan? Have y'all seen Jaquan? Have y'all seen Jaquan Have y'all see
Save me from this veil of tears, please. Oh You disappointed in that huh? You disappointed in that. Okay, poor you, buddy. Yeah. Hey, hey, you want both on that? I got you right here. Thank you so much.
Get out of my face right now. Thank you. Hey, what's good, Virginia? Where's West at? What's out of order? The diving board is? No, chat, seriously, where is Ja the Quan right now?
This is more stressful than a real-life job
Chat this is this is this is I'm sweating for real. I'm gonna take my shirt off y'all want to see Lord have mercy, please somebody help me Okay, let's look at the positives here chat everybody reconverge for the positives Own yo Seriously, it's actually not a meme this time only 25 people slipped Do you realize how good that is last shift how many people slip chat how many 42 42
Satisfaction is up satisfaction at the end of laughs it's last shift was
58% I need to go have a stern talking to with Jaquan right now Jaquan Hey Jaquan, no, don't you walk away from me you listen here you are a maintenance man You are a maintenance man. You are a...
He's not a maintenance man, I damn it, or whatever.
Why is he not cleaning?
Don't make me get the glove!
Jaquan, don't make me get other. Oh, they need a break. Oh Chat, look they need a little break. Oh They need such a break. Don't they? They're so overworked and underpaid all these poor things They're so tired from all the work that they do. Oh my goodness Atlas has to sit at the front desk and hand out tickets. Oh my goodness. Atlas has to sit at the front desk and hand out tickets. Oh my goodness. Look at everything I'm doing. Jack, you know what's crazy? We have hired
more employees, but I'm going to keep it a stack stack which all I feel like it's still a one-man show. I really do I
Truly feel like it's a one-man show is it not
What did you just say they need a union yo get this new band don dare give them any ideas. Get this dude out of here right now. You're banned. Do not- Don't you dare give them any ideas. You're not allowed to unionize here. They don't do no work to start with. Should I leave him all this trash? On Labor Day?
Oh it is Labor Day. Yo that's kind of messed up. Yo it is Labor Day.
That is crazy.
Okay do y'all want me to actually finally paint this moss over here? Are y'all ready for that to happen?
Floor tool I
Got it y'all ready Change color What color y'all want to make the it's $ dollars a pop that's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen What color Yellow Yellow's locked
Blue wait, let's try this. Wait, that's green. Wait, this is about to change everything. This is changing everything! Oh my goodness, it looks so much better right now are you actually kidding me look at this it's giving old abandoned waterpark vibe that stuck in the past and never made any modern upgrades vibes and that's exact vibe I'm going for go gray you are so basic. There's a reason you're not the owner of a water park and I am.
Okay? You need to calm down. Gray, who wants to see that? Do the other side too? But wouldn't it be kind of cool to leave... You back here smoking cigarettes?
Yo Jaquan, are you really back here smoking cigarettes? Unreal. Do pink? If I had it I would, but we don't have access to that color right now. We're good. We're good. Chat, I need more employees. I'm not gonna lie. I need some less. I need less stress in my life. Type one if you agree. I got too much stress going on.
Okay, the brain-eating amoeba zone looks way better right now. Way better. We have $1,500, chat. Listen, what are we doing with it? I'm gonna wait to do the other side because I don't want to spend all that money right now
More workers
Or should we add more stuff
Vendors I don't have that unlocked. Look. Look. Look. Look. Lifeguard staff?
Modern slides? Look, lifeguard staff, modern slides, we need the modern slides so bad, oh my goodness we
need that.
Oh, vendor staff! We gotta save up for that. Vendingending machine of vending machines would go crazy Chat tell me a vending machine wouldn't go crazy But we don't have any we don't have any research points right now So do we want to spend the money that we have to do more upgrades right here? Do more slides? I could low key do, I could fit another pool in here.
We actually could. Y'all wanna throw another pool in here?
Yeah?
Peep this.
Type one if you're peeping it.
Type one if you're peeping it right now.
Yo, 18 with the 25 gifted. Give me some W's for 18 with the 25 gifted. Thank you so much, 18 with the 25 gifted. Thank you so much, 18, with the 25 gifted. I appreciate that for real. Thank you, 18. Appreciate you for, dude, what are you doing? Grab!
Thank you. Type one if you're trusting the process right now. We can put another pool in here. Which shape pool do y'all think? Could this fit in here? If we could get this to go,
Chad, if we could get this to go, you wait just a darn tootin' minute right now. You wait just a darn tootin' minute right now. You wait just a darn tootin' minute right now. Are you waiting? Type one if I'm him.
Listen, listen, listen.
You may be like, yo, what is bro doing right now? I want you to relax for five seconds and let me cook Are you gonna do it cuz you should Let me cook right now That is so nasty chat trash floating in the pool is like that's genuinely disgusting
Watch Watch. Unbelievable. Jaquan, you good? Almost killed Jaquan doing that. Look at this, chat. Oh my goodness, look at this. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness. Almost killed Jaquan doing that. Look at this chat. Oh my goodness.
Look at this.
Oh my God. Look at this poop. Pick that trash up. Jaquan, can you please help me now? Like, please, man. There we go.
I'm telling y'all let me cook right now.
Please.
That dookie stayed there the whole time.
It's all like fermented now.
That's nasty.
Chad, why y'all taking dookies at my party? Yo, Gilly with the five.
W. Gilly with the five. What's why people keep dookieing? Put more bathrooms? That's why people keep duking? Put more bathrooms, that's why people keep duking? You mean to tell me two bathrooms ain't enough? Why y'all so needy?
Why you so needy, chat?
Huh?
Grow up. Oh, we need more bathrooms. We duking it all over the place.
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.
Like, grow up, man. You over here taking dumps for what? Y'all happy with this now? Create a diving zone? I fear you're the smartest person in this whole chat. You just read my mind.
I can only afford one of these right now that's so sad. I'm gonna put it right here for now but chat hear me out right here. Once I get more money I'm gonna have like six of these right here it's gonna be the diving zone. Yeah. Y'all cool with that?
Ladies and gentlemen, look, Ladies and gentlemen, look, Hold on. I fear that's the best thing I've ever seen! There's no Walthway. Why on this planet earth? That just costed me an extra $5 that we ain't got right now. More trash cans. Chat, why does running a business cost so much money?
Why can't everything just be free? Why does this have to be such a stressful thing? This is, this is, this is horrible. I am so stressed. You know? Why can't everything in life just be free why can't my customers enjoy what they have and not constantly complain and try to
give me lawsuits why not let's sleep this is unreal. What say what you want to say then? Do you have a problem with how this is being ran? Interior design L. It's so off center. This is unreal.
Well, I'm the one that's running a successful water park.
You're not.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. Let's get another good shift here at the beautiful Goo Lagoon. I mean Goob Lagoon, okay? Let's have a good day. I'm gonna lose everything. I'm gonna lose everything, Chad. I'm gonna lose all of it.
Put loungers underneath some fountains. They love it at Tobert's Tubular Slip and Slide.
Okay.
That's actually a crazy name for a water park. I respect that. I'm going to save up some money and I'll actually consider doing that.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's get us another good shift at the goob lagoon. Atlas lock in, there's a lot more customers than there used to be, okay? Please lock in. Let me go fix some stuff. Relax, chat, everything is okay. Do y'all believe this is gonna be a good shift?
Do ya?
I hope y'all believe this is gonna be a good ship do you I hope y'all got faith J'quan okay, he's over there mopping. We're okay. We're good This is gonna be our best shift ever I'm calling it right now. This is gonna be our best shift ever. I'm calling it.
We're gonna have $3,000 at the end of this shift. Watch.
Yo Atlas, where's the customers?
Atlas.
Atlas. Atlas. How you doing? How you doing? What's good Eden? Six hours adult with a slide pass. I got you right here.
Thank you so much. Excuse me. Hey, how you doing Shane? You want eight hours adult with a slide pass? Got you right here. Thank you so much
I appreciate that. Excuse me. Is that an intruder intruder? Oh, you're loving this, huh? You're loving this. Oh, you're you're not an intruder my bad Intruder get out of my water park veronica You're an intruder too. Tommy get him Tommy was here two days in a row if tommy trespasses here three days in a row. I can authorize use of deadly force Yo, yo
I don't know. I don't know what was up with that right there, but uh, I think I almost killed him. Hey, how you doing Karina? You want you a regular lemonade? Well, I got you right here. Thank you so much, Karina. Don't go careening off the diving board. That was such a weak dive and you're having fun you're such a simple pin if that's what made you have fun are you serious you just stepped off the end of the diving board won't you do a real dive like me watch this my leg just
dislocated so bad. Oh my goodness, my leg. You just stepped off the end of the water, I tripped. Look at the shadow!
Oh my God! Look at the face, Cam!
Look at the face!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha! Yo! My leg is gone, bro! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh That's what I get for talking crazy, I'm not gonna lie
Dude the shadow.
Unbelievable.
Oh my God.
Okay, let's get back to work, bro. That is the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life. Okay. Okay, how you doing? Yo, how y'all? Yeah, I'm sorry. I got a maintenance man.
He just smoked cigarettes all day. I'm sorry. What's good, Eden? Plain hot dog. I got you right there.
Thank you so much. Hot dog with ketchup. There you go, Eden.
You have yourself a safe trip at the Goob Lagoon. Appreciate you. Intruder where? She's the intruder. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
Get out of here.
Are y'all enjoying the new Olympic size swimming pool? I'll take that as a no. I'm gonna catch up. Thank you so much, Gianna. You have yourself a safe trip. Nevermind. Oh my God. It is so bad.
Where is Jaquan at? Hey, are y'all having fun? I hope y'all are having fun for real. Oh, you need help on the diving board? I got you.
Nice.
There you go, thank you. You want both on that hot dog?
I got you right there. I'm actually gonna go get some more hot dogs, excuse me. Lord have mercy, Atlas, it's like a Chick-fil-A drive-thru.
Speed her up! Welcome to K-Mart. Thank you. Oh my goodness, Bruno Mars is drowning. Oh, Lord have mercy.
Hold on, Bruno!
Hold on, Bruno!
There's two people drowning.
Hey, Treasure, you want to play in hot dog? Got you right there. Oh, my goodness, Bruno Mars is drowning. Oh Lord, have mercy. Hold on Bruno! Hold on Bruno! There's two people drowning. Hey Trez, you want a plain hot dog? Got you right there.
You have yourself a good trip. What you want on yours? Plain hot dog as well. Have a good one. Thank you. Hold on Bruno, I got you!
Bruno!
You're good Bruno!
Ugh! Saving lives.
Saving lives, chat. I do... Intruder, get out! Oh yeah, I did that already.
Get out of my water park, by the way.
You really intruded in here. Get out of here. There's a spot right there that I'll clean up. I mean, Jaquan. Jaquan, have you been over here the whole shift? Jaquan, what you sweeping? Ruby intruding here get out of here. There's a spot right there that all clean up. I mean, I mean Have you been over here the whole shift
Okay road to the third star make the floor more beautiful zero thirty So if you're telling me I would have waited a few minutes to do that. I would have had that achievement already I am actually sick to my stomach right now. can't believe this hey how you doing lemonade with ice I got you right here a lemonade with ice thank you so much how y'all do a plain hot dog what you mean seriously forget you then mustard have a good one Bruno this dude went from drowning to eating a hot dog within the same two minutes. Intruder? Hold on, I'll figure it out.
Hold on, I gotta serve these hot dogs, hot dog with mustard. Right there, thank you. Hey, what's good, Gianna? Lemonade? Why are y'all saying real? I just said this dude went from drowning to wanting a hot dog in the same minute,
and multiple people said real What you mean relatable There goes there goes your regular lemonade, thank you what a hot dog with ketchup I got you right here Raina Thank you so much. What's good chain playing hot dog your face for that somebody? Oh my lord. Have mercy. I'm gonna get that spot cleaned up I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry y'all. I apologize. I'm so sorry. You need help on the dialing board. Hey, there you go How's everything going over here y'all doing I
All right now hope y'all having a good time. Appreciate y'all for being here. I really appreciate y'all being here. Thank y'all so much. I hope y'all having a beautiful time at the Google Lagoon. I appreciate y'all, thank you.
Okay, let's do it. You want both on these? Both, there you go. Thank you so much. Simons, wait what? Who's the intruder? Intruder! Let me go get some more hot dogs. Oh! Somebody said three car pile up. This is bad, but you know what? As bad as that, somebody's drowning.
Jorge's drowning. Oh my goodness, Jorge's drowning. Hold on. I'm coming Jorge, hang on. Hey, what can I get you? Hot dog with mustard.
Thank you so much. Have yourself a beautiful day Valeria.
Thank you.
What's good, what do you want? You want both? both okay tasty thank you hey what's good ricardo lemonade with ice and lemon refreshing thank you grab the preserver he's good chad he's good he's good he's good hey hey hey hey yo you can't be panicking on this big old diamond board right here. You gotta lock in. Go! There's three, oh my goodness, people are drowning all over the place.
Hold on, I'm gonna save you, just give me one second. There you go, you're good to go. Let me get these spots cleaned up. Here we go. Here we go. There we go. Thank y'all so much.
Somebody else is drowning, oh my god! Excuse me, watch out. Hold on, I'm gonna come save you in a minute, Sage. Just hang on. Both on that hot dog. There you go, Ricardo.
You have yourself a good... Did you just take a picture?! You creep! There you go Here you go, sorry sage, oh my goodness somebody you want both on that hot dog? I can do both on that hot dog. We're not just gonna ignore the fact that that dude was on his cell phone snapping pictures. Atlas isn't doing his job? Man, who would have guessed? I'll be'll be right back hey how y'all doing what's good Rose senior slide pass got you right here six hours thank you so
much if I ever have to come in here again and force you to oh, oh, is he okay? You're good, somebody's drowning, give me one second. I'm gonna go tend to that. Mustard on a hot dog, thank you so much. Hey, what's good? What you want on that?
You want both on that. Got you right here, thank you, somebody's drowning. I got you! Chat, I am a, dude, chat, I am, dude, I'm him. What just happened it's a my just died I'm hearing a bunch of bodies. I'm hearing a bunch of water moving. This does not sound good. I need to get more lemonade I'll be right back hot dog with mustard. I got you right here. I gotta get more lemonade and hot dogs
What you want mustard on that boom mustard? I gotta go restock real quick. Excuse me. Thank you
watch out I Just joined how was there for pools now because I'm the best business owner there ever was and there has never been a water park In human history that's ever been more successful and as good as this one period period Okay Not much else to say about it. That's just what it is Everybody loves the goop the goop lagoon. Everybody does why why is why are the life preservers under the ground?
Hey, hey, hey, here. Yo, yo, Jaquan, there is somebody drowning too deep from you and you're sweeping instead. Have some respect. Why are they walking through here? Excuse me. Hey, hey, what y'all want? Y'all want some hot dogs? It is awesome. I'm glad you're liking the goob lagoon. Catch up on that hot dog. Got you right there. Hey, what's good? Ty? Plain hot dog. Your base for that. You have a goodien. Somebody is sabotaging me! What kind of cartoon stuff is this? Who put a deck of banana peel on the diving board?
Oh, there's brain-eating amoebas. Brain-eating amoebas. Brain eating amoebas. Hey, what can I get y'all? Ketchup on a hot dog. Thank you. Hey, what can I get you? You want lemonade with ice?
I can do that right here. Have yourself a beautiful day. Ketchup on a hot dog. I got you. Thank you so much. Y'all good? Okay, how are you? It's about to end, but I'll serve you a hot dog anyway. Thank you so much.
Y'all have a good night. Thanks for being at the Goob Lagoon. Listen here.
Listen here.
I know that 58 people slipped. But I want us all to acknowledge the fact that we just had a new personal best satisfaction rate Chat 66% satisfaction rate. Are y'all serious right now? And we almost have $2,000. 87 visitors had a fun thought. Chat, was I lying when I said
this was gonna be our best shift ever? I called it. I literally said this shift was gonna be our best one ever. I know that's bad right there. We had our most customers ever and highest satisfaction rate ever.
Oh my goodness. That was beautiful. Chat.
Beautiful shift.
Beautiful, beautiful episode at the goob lagoon. Next episode is going to be crazy because now we have access to so much stuff and we're about to get to the third star. It's about to get crazy at the goob lagoon It's a working process, but it's a working process. That's working a Great stream chat. I love y'all man. Hey
Appreciate y'all for kicking it with your boy again tonight Appreciate y'all for kicking it with your boy again tonight Preset all they get this subs don't know bits follows. Of course. I'll preset y'all for this hanging out
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