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We Said What We Said ft

We Said What We Said ft. Malika Haqq | Khloé In Wonder Land

Khloe Kardashian

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0:00

Hi. Hi, my girl.

0:02

Should we do like random girl chat chaos?

0:04

Love your lip color, by the way. Um...

0:07

I just feel like everyone is f***ing with me.

0:09

The only thing that I will allow to rattle my nervous system is the stock market.

0:14

If you know, you know.

0:15

Don't worry, we're still gonna come, but we think we might wanna make a few edits.

0:18

You can't edit someone else's birthday.

0:20

Uh, yeah, we can. You'll never be with another man like that again. Or be with another man. We don't cry on pillows. We don't miss moments with our children.

0:28

I haven't used eye drops in decades.

0:30

My skin's the best it's ever been.

0:32

I sleep at night.

0:33

So do you want to talk about the doc?

0:37

Hell yeah, I was pissed. Now Lamar is doing press, insinuating that I'm a liar. You're not now gonna s*** on me because you don't like the reaction and the response.

0:48

Don't take our kindness for weakness.

0:55

Clock it. Malika. Chloe. I love that you're back in Wonderland with me. Me too. Thank you for having me How was your Easter my Easter was lovely. What'd you do? We just did an Easter egg hunt

1:11

Ace is such an only child. So we did one at our house first Oh my gosh, and he got to jump on the trampoline that your mom just got him. Oh, she did Yeah, he got him the in-ground trampoline. Oh, those are the best. For his birthday. Where'd you put it? In my front yard. Oh, God. That front yard. Because I had that massive eyesore of a trampoline. So it's a really great transition. What about the jungle gym? It's still there. We have room. We have a little bit of room. The jungle gym of a front yard. Yeah, hunt, he opened his baskets, he opened your basket, he loved it. He was like, Mommy, Auntie Coco's the best ever! I'm like, I know. So cute. I mean, those photos were adorable.

1:51

No, he's too cute. And that bunny was adorable too. It was like the size of him. Yeah, no, it was cute. It was cute. Yeah critical of yourself. Stop. I am, I'm very critical of everything. You're an incredible gift giver. Thank you.

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2:09

I love you.

2:10

That's my love language. I love gift giving.

2:12

It's mine as well.

2:13

But I don't like receiving. Makes me very uncomfortable. No, you're very awkward. Yeah, I just get like, I know how much money this cost. I know how hard it is to make money. I like spiral in my head. And it's kind of crazy because you make me open my presence in front of you. And I don't think you've ever opened a present

2:31

in front of me.

2:31

Hell no, because you're never going to get the reaction you want.

2:34

You're so cute though. I can always hear your smile on the phone.

2:38

I can do it better on the phone. with people, I'm like, okay, Chloe, you have to act this way, but don't let it be fake, because it's not fake, but I just want to make sure I'm giving someone the response they want. Yeah, you just don't like to blush in front of people,

2:52

like you're blushing right now.

2:53

Yeah, no, I don't like any of it. It's very cute on you, though. And I became a newer open in front of me type of person, because my mom had a talk with me and said it's like what I should be doing. You should. Yeah. They say it's just an American thing to do. Like other people don't do that. What? Like you give a gift and you like take it away. And then that's like supposed to be like a normal thing. What? To open in front of people? To not open in front of people. I think it's just Americans do that. Yeah. Well, how was your Easter? Mine was great. We were in Palm Springs

3:25

It was really nice weather not too hot, which is always nice because Palm Springs is deadly crazy But you know, we go over-the-top Easter egg hunts the baskets brunch. We went swimming After and then drove back down for school on Monday crazy, but it was great. I loved it Okay, so they're back in school. Back in school. Okay.

3:47

I chaperoned a field trip yesterday.

3:50

Teach you.

3:51

12 kids I had to be responsible for in my group. It was like crazy. When I got home, I was like, no one can talk to me for like an hour. Because being on that bus with all, it's just a lot of over stimulation

4:05

the bus for me it's the bus I actually feel really bad now and I hope he doesn't talk to true because he had a field trip and I didn't let him go oh did you want to go he knew about it but I like kind of talked to him like mommy's just not comfortable with you going that far away and on a bus and they didn't pick mommy to go. So- Were you lying? No, they were going to an amusement park, like, yeah.

4:30

Like near Disneyland. And I was like, I'm sorry, I just, I'm not comfortable with that.

4:35

So unless I'm one of the chaperones, he can't go. First of all, I don't know why does a school send someone to an amusement park? I mean I think it's because the kids really want to go, but I'm just not that kind of parent. I don't think it's for learning, I think it's just for fun. It's not when you're on one of those yellow school buses and it takes three hours to get

4:56

there. The school bus and the diesel feel, not my thing. Sorry, I know that most people, I just, I wasn't going to be able to ride on the bus anyway. I was just gonna follow behind.

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5:05

But then I just decided, I was like, no.

5:07

You're crazy.

5:08

Because what if I wanna leave early? I can't even separate my kid and take him,

5:11

like whoever goes on the bus had to go back on the bus. Yeah, I wouldn't.

5:17

I was like, this is just not for us.

5:18

I wouldn't let my kid go either. honestly on the bus yesterday they were all like, this is taking so long. Can we leave? Can we get off? I have to pee. I'm like- Was it hot? It has AC on the bus. Oh, it does? It was fine. In our days, you just rolled down the window drop. No, the new yellow buses have AC, but it takes 30 extra minutes to get anywhere on those buses.

5:43

Where did you guys go though?

5:45

Malibu.

5:46

Oh, that's cute.

5:47

They're learning about plankton and water animals. And so we went to the bluff and we have to go down on the beach. But a different guide is with every person. They're teaching us about certain native plants and microscopes.

6:03

So nice for you, home studies.

6:05

It was great, it was great.

6:06

Did I tell you I'm home studying Ace?

6:08

You did. Yeah. But when are you starting? So he'll graduate from kindergarten and then he'll start first grade. I found the best, well my mother and I,

6:16

found the best Christian home study program.

6:20

Nice.

6:21

It's the cutest. Is your mom gonna do it? She's gonna help me, but I'm gonna get him an actual teacher. Malika's mom, Beverly, is an actual teacher of like 30 years. I know, but she's retired and it's just hard. But she is very capable. Imagine having your mom come teach your kids. Well, my mom never... That's so not her. Your mom was a teacher, but I get if your mom's not her. Your mom was a teacher.

6:45

But I get if your mom's retired and doesn't wanna do it. No, she does. I just think it's gonna be different if it's like four days a week, nine to 12 every day.

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6:55

She hasn't been on a schedule like that for so long.

6:57

No, I don't think she wants to be that committed, but you just can't say I hired an actual teacher. Your mom is an actual teacher. I hired another teacher. Or a current teacher, because your mom is retired.

7:09

And then my mom can do like the substitute teacher work. You know, when the teacher doesn't come in,

7:14

my mom can sub. The f*** making a school lunch and snacks, like being creative, I'm like, no. I'm not gonna miss it. I will not miss carpool either. But doesn't it make you appreciate Your parents more. I totally understand my mom more and I guess that understanding brought appreciation

7:34

Okay, at first I'd be like this woman's insane when I was in my teens and then once you become a mom you go Oh, she's not that bad. She's like She's like normal your parents are people too. Yeah, that's not that bad. She's like normal. Your parents are people too. That's how I feel. And I'm like, I can't believe she did it with five because I have one and I feel a little crazy most days.

7:56

Oh, I'm sure she felt crazy every day, but you just don't know better because you don't know there's life outside of this.

8:01

It's true.

8:02

You don't know what you don't know. Especially because she didn't have any access to like the outside world unless it's like a newspaper. Like that's just, you just knew everyone had kids, you take them to school. Like that's what she did. No, remember when you were like in the car with your mom or your dad and they

8:16

throw that big book on your lap until you flipped a page.

8:19

Thomas Guide. Thomas Guide. Our kids would die if we handed them a Thomas Guide. Thomas Guide. Yeah. Our kids would die if we handed them a Thomas Guide. When Bruce used to be like, go to page 94 and tell me these coordinates. I'm like, a coordinate?

8:33

No, yeah, our kids will never know what we suffer through.

8:36

We used to print out directions on MapQuest. I think that was once AOL came around, right? But I still, born and raised LA, I don't go anywhere without Waze. Like everything, do I just not pay attention when I draw?

8:51

I believe, show me the quickest way. Yeah. And I'll make my decision from there.

8:56

Just give me, I like options. I just can't go anywhere without it, it's really nuts. So I don't know what I did. I guess I was always printing out that paper on MapQuest. Crazy. We made it work. Malika has a show that's going to be out. I don't know when, but I don't think anyone

9:14

knows when yet. Just yet. But exciting. Yes, we're three weeks in. We've got about three more weeks left and then a couple pickup days, but I don't know how you do this every day. It's a lot Like and then multiple other jobs like crazy women. I have no friends anymore

9:32

Well, I mean you still have me. We just only see each other every quarter. Totally, but that's Why it's not like i'm sitting at home like No, but it's actually good to be a workaholic Because you get out of your head a bit. Sometimes. You just have to carve out time to do like self things. Like my Sundays are so good.

9:52

My self-care Sundays. You would love my list. No. What do you always say? I know Sundays are precious to you. They are though.

10:02

They really are. I'm like if someone talks to me on a Sunday, do not disturb. Okay, do you still keep your phone off? Sometimes. I haven't had a Sunday because we were in Japan and then like I haven't had a Sunday in a minute, but when I get a Sunday, I just try to put the phone down and not pay attention

10:20

to it. But like, it's not off and I'll check it, but I just think it's so healthy to not be a prisoner to your phone and detox a little bit. I sure remember when I used to turn my phone off. Yeah, all the time. Malika used to get really emotional and like, she still does.

10:37

Very emo.

10:38

She can totally control her emotions better, but as a young adult, she would like...

10:46

Disappear?

10:47

Disappear, but also wanted everyone to know in a way. If I didn't let you guys know, 100%. Because she would put on a black icon because Kim would always be like, you might want to check on Malika. She would always, because then we all knew what it meant.

11:01

No, yeah, because I'd be gone and you would not be able to find me. No. I'd be like, give me, I needed like, I think it was always somewhere between 48 and 72 hours and I'd be back to

11:12

normal.

11:13

Yeah, but you always just needed that damn black icon. Solid. I think it's a reset. I can't was like here she goes again. I'm still very black. Yeah? You are? I love my black. I just express it differently now. Because you have a kid, you can't disappear for three days. I'm just emotionally healthier or stronger, should I say? I think.

11:35

I think so.

11:37

Do you think that comes with age? And experience. You go through enough things and you're just like, oh, I'd rather stay in the light, so I don't have to go black.

11:47

Yeah.

11:48

You just preserve and protect your peace.

11:51

How was Japan?

11:52

Ooh, it was so nice. Japan was great. I'm excited you're gonna do that for your birthday. I want to. It's been on my bucket list for a minute, but I think most importantly,

12:02

I didn't just get up and go because I want to make sure Ace is old enough to understand it, or at least remember. You know, I was like, I think he is. I mean, what I loved is how much the kids loved it. There's so many great things to do for kids. It's so safe, it's so nice.

12:19

Tatum, like every day that we're back, he's like, are we gonna go to Japan again? Like he loved it. I know he won't remember it when he's older because he's only three and a half, but I love how much he loved it. And he was so happy every day. Like the jet lag is a lot,

12:34

but kids are so resilient and they can handle it. And he just like appreciated everything. It was so funny for someone so young for them to like, he was so into everything we did. And that I really loved. Yeah, I think he realizes how different it is from his regular life. So he doesn't have to identify exactly, but like that appreciation comes from like, I like this.

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13:00

Mm-hmm.

13:01

It was really cute. This was enjoyable for me. Ace was like that when I took him to Paris at three. He used to keep saying, can I go back to my tower? Can I go back to my tower? He loved the Eiffel Tower.

13:10

Aww.

13:11

And I was like, yeah, it's a really long way away.

13:13

We can't keep going back, but one day.

13:15

So I think my whole family is going. Nice. So that's like, it'll be big. That would be amazing. So it's still, I think it's the start of cherry blossom season.

13:31

Yeah. That's why I was like, I hope you get it. Cause they say it's so beautiful.

13:36

It is so beautiful. It rained a lot when we were there, but towards the end, the beginning, like it was perfect. It's really, really so beautiful. I'm not really an amusement person part at all. But the kids love it. They do, but like after I've hit like 15,000 sets, I'm like, I've got to. I mean, Disney is not for the faint of heart. You just have to. It's a lot, but the kids love it.

13:59

So the drams this week, do you want to talk about the doc?

14:04

I'm really activated actually.

14:06

Yeah.

14:07

Okay. So as a mom, my days are genuinely non-stop. I'm talking school drop-off, running errands, back-to-back everything, and then somehow I have dinner plans or a night out and I have to look put together. I don't have time to change or stand in my closet spiraling.

14:23

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14:39

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15:13

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15:31

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15:59

miss out. You guys know I recently got a puppy, Peppermint, and I'm not even going to pretend I'm normal about it. I fully accept that I've become one of those dog parents. The kind who takes way too many photos, talks to their dog like they're a person, and somehow she ends up having a better daily routine than I do. Peppermint already has multiple beds around the house, a rotation of toys, and honestly,

16:25

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16:41

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17:17

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17:53

box. Ollie, feed the obsession. I know you haven't seen it. No. Because you are annoyed. I'm annoyed, but I'm more also like, I already lived that. I don't necessarily want to go back there, because to me it's just dark and sad. Well, this is also what is so annoying to me. So like, the documentary, number one, do people think I just like talking about this all day long?

18:20

F*** no. It's traumatic. I have to relive things. I have to talk about things that weren't fun in my life. So it's like, no, I don't just feel like doing this. So I think there's like what I keep seeing because people keep sending me TikToks or just videos. Number one, I was

18:39

asked by Lamar or Lamar's team, whatever you want to say, was asked if I can do the documentary. I was contemplating because I'm like, oh, I don't know if I want to do that. And also, I wanted to make sure it was handled in the best way. I said, I want to make sure this is a positive piece. I don't really want to go down this road if it's negative. He's been through enough negative. Let's like turn the tune here." Everyone was like, no, it's amazing. It's going to be really positive.

19:07

He's the one doing it. He's the one asking. I'm like, okay, cool. Netflix then was like, we can't finish it without you. You're a big chapter. Sure, get that.

19:15

I willingly do the Netflix thing for Lamar. I'm not getting paid one penny to do this. I have no dog in this fight. It doesn't matter to me if this documentary is made or not made. I don't care. And it's also not something I really want to talk about.

19:34

You don't want to go back down.

19:36

It wasn't a great thing.

19:37

It wasn't the best time of my life. I had best time moments, but it's not like let's rehash the dark stuff all over again.

19:45

Can I just say you took months to give an answer?

19:49

Yes.

19:49

You took a long time to even agree to do this.

19:52

And on Alexa's point, cause I was like, how does this benefit me? For Keeping Up or for Kardashians, whatever, people always want to ask about the Lamar stuff. I get it. But at some point I'm'm like, over it. It's like, that chapter's done. I'm good. He's good. We're good. To do this, though,

20:10

what turned me was Netflix reaching out again, saying like, they can't finish it without me. And I didn't want to do that to Lamar. So I was like, okay, he deserves this. You did him a really big favor because you actually can't tell the story of that chapter of his life without you. As a matter of fact, he doesn't know. What? He doesn't really know what happened. You do. Either way. I remember you, I was like, I really want to make sure, like, let's get on the same page with what he wants me to

20:39

say. You reached out to him for me. He wouldn't respond to us. I mean, it took, by the time he had responded, it was done. Yeah, he took weeks to respond. And we were like, hey, Chloe's going to the interview. She wants to talk to you prior. I tried.

21:01

Receipts.

21:02

Also what I think people are confused about is I'm not just sitting on camera talking. There's a producer asking me questions. This producer is from Lamar's documentary. Has nothing to do with me. I'm not an executive producer. I don't edit anybody on their documentary. I'm not paid a cent, I have no involvement in this documentary besides sitting down and giving an interview. This producer is asking me questions

21:33

that I then respond to. So how would the producer know to ask me certain things if they're not given by Lamar's team or this guy does research? If the guy is like, hey, so I heard this happened in Vegas, why don't you tell me about that? I'm gonna be like, okay, I'm gonna tell you that story. Because somehow you know the f***ing story.

21:53

Exactly.

21:54

So I am just doing exactly what the producer's asking of me. I didn't see the documentary in whole until it came out. I was still trying to figure out what the takeaway was from the documentary What do you mean? So I think like for the public? Yeah So I I think that that's another thing that people are kind of hung on

22:12

Which is like what were you supposed to get from this that you weren't a good father? You weren't a good husband Well, so that's what I'm confused about. So I don't this is your documentary But like your overdose was 11 years ago. Yeah. You're telling me that you have nothing to show for anything at the end of your documentary. You couldn't show after the last 11 years your sobriety journey.

22:33

And that has nothing to do with you.

22:34

Has nothing to do with me. If there was nothing positive to show at the end, that's on you. You are ending it as making a joke. Oh, let's go to Vegas. Let me go to Vegas, come with me to Vegas and get married or whatever he said to the camera crew. Like, everything's a joke for you. You're not accountable for anything. I think what's pissing me off is we did this all good.

22:57

I was done with this. I'm like, I'm never gonna do another Lamar thing again because I'm all good. It's finished. But now Lamar is doing press, annoyed with me. I can't stand it. Claiming or insinuating that I'm a liar. All these things discrediting me saying that I'm, I wasn't the one that helped him. That pissed me off as well. Only

23:20

because I was like, sir, you weren't. You were there, but you were a shell of a person. I'm like the things that I witness and was there for even the week that I was in Las Vegas. I was like, I want my friend out of here. But I knew what you were doing was so honorable and so loving, like it's it is who you are and what you would do. we fast-forward how over a decade later and you want to tell the story But you want to tell the person that they're not telling the story correctly

23:51

How sir, but that's not even That's not even it. I think For years. He was singing my praises all this I don't even need you to sing my praises but you're not now gonna shit on me or now play in my face because you don't like the reaction and the response from the public. Well, I think you're getting a better reaction as a human being than he

24:14

is getting for his own documentary. But that's your documentary. It's not my problem. I didn't edit your documentary. I had nothing to do with the final product. That's all you. If that's the way you wanted your documentary cut together and all that, how the f*** is that my problem? Maybe he didn't have control over that, but he also didn't have anything positive to give them either. But again, that's not my problem. Yeah. I think this is the first time people have ever really had an opportunity to hear you speak and see

24:43

the experience through your eyes.

24:45

Well, because it's not...

24:46

And he didn't like that, apparently.

24:47

But it's not my story to tell. I was... I would never expose someone. That was not for me to expose. I kept all of that to myself for 11 years or whenever that was. For this, I was asked by Lamar to do this documentary.

25:05

I did it for him. His team, whoever provided those questions to the producer, had to be someone that knew these things. That's how they knew to ask me those questions. They don't just happen. So I answered the questions,

25:20

and then I even said when I left, well, Lamar can take out anything he doesn't like, because I don't care, take out what you don't want in there. That's your choice, this is your show. And I just find it crazy that he's, first of all, I don't care, you don't have to give me credit for anything, I don't want the credit. All I did was tell the story that I was asked by you to tell, but now to like play in my face and now to act like I didn't do any of the things I did and insinuate I'm a liar.

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25:49

Look, he needed you to complete that documentary. But I feel played. There were questions that I'm sure were asked to him and he couldn't answer it. You answered them. He just didn't like the answers. That doesn't make it not true.

26:04

The rest of that is not your problem. And I know why things irritate you too, because you're also like, here I am again. I was there for you to help you save your life. I'm here for you to help you explain your life. And I'm still the bad guy.

26:17

I'm still getting kind of, you know, the short end.

26:20

It doesn't feel good.

26:21

I get that. But that's why you're done. Beyond done. Like even in the documentary when he said something about him getting drugs after he overdosed, he's like, yeah, but why would a drug dealer give Lamar Odom drugs knowing what he went through? No, no, why would you call a drug dealer? You know what I mean? Like it's always everyone else's fault. It's not his. And then I saw on some clip that the person was like, did you watch the documentary? Or like, how'd you feel about it? He's like, I didn't watch the whole, I didn't watch it all, but I will. First of

26:58

all, that couldn't be further from the truth. This person loves to watch himself. You're telling me- No, he walked in my house with a picture of himself on his t-shirt. On his shirt. Yeah. That's a different kind of love.

27:13

You're telling me that you have a documentary for yourself and you're trying to say publicly that you never saw it? Boy, please. Yeah. Let's not. I call BS.

27:24

Let's not. I just think he wasn't expecting this response, and now he's trying to sort of slander me a little bit, which frustrates me. I think if I can leave you with anything that I feel like, again, you should know, is everything you have done is honorable, and it does not serve you as an individual. But what it does do is speak highly about the heart and the way you care for people if you ever said you did.

27:54

If he doesn't honor that, so what? Stick with the people that have been like, God, she was such a great wife, and she really is even a great person for doing this documentary, because I've seen so much stuff where people are like I wouldn't have done anything for him look at what he did to her then look at what he does now and I'm like you really

28:13

do let things roll off your back but I think you pay more attention to the positive he's not a positive person I don't think he has that to give. Also, you're sitting on camera saying you married me for fame?

28:27

What?

28:28

Like, that's weak. It's all the conversation is very weak. But I saw some TikTok was like, wait, am I such a fool? Because I thought they really loved each other, da-da-da, and the person was like, did anyone else feel that way? And I was like... No, I think that's what you say now after your wife has left you and it's been a decade later and you kind of have mud on your face. But he hasn't said that for years. That was never the truth, KK. What? It was never true that he married... He's saying that now. No, but why is he saying it in his documentary? He's saying it now because that's the only leg he has to stand on.

29:05

That's insane. He can't get you back. But you're asking me. He just texts me. Right, but you're asking. Tell KK we'll be family forever. Right, but you're asking me to be in your documentary.

29:14

And behind the scenes, you, your friends, you guys are all saying how you were with me just for fame, that's like some b******t of b******t. Like I feel so dumb, I spent hours and time doing this documentary as a favor. I'm not paid one penny. Yeah. I didn't do any, like people are like,

29:32

oh, I wonder how much she got paid.

29:34

What?

29:35

Well look, it doesn't make him look good at all. No, but I am also pissed that I'm even involved. That's his, if that's his ego talking and that in some way is supposed to make him look like he doesn't care about Chloe, it didn't work. It doesn't even make him look good. Listen, I let go the blow up sex doll he got made of me two years ago,

30:04

Because he just does things for money.

30:06

Or for fame. Yeah, it's like attention. He tries to do things for attention.

30:10

Gross.

30:11

Yeah. Anyways, I don't want to give this that much attention.

30:14

One deep breath.

30:15

But I am, like, the amount of messages I'm getting, everyone is, like, shocked. Like, how did the tune change so much, and I think it's changed just because he's seeing the response. And now he's like, oh, I'm gonna attack her because she's getting so much love. Someone told me I'm like the icon on the Netflix special. I'm like, you're mad at me about your portrayal, but that's what you gave them. It's crazy. I mean, I guess...

30:52

weak people often pick someone to be, like, the bad guy, the fall person. And unfortunately, you are in that seat quite often.

30:59

But I think you now are removing yourself, so this is just, like, the final straw with him.

31:01

Overhead.

31:02

I gave you your stuff back, I did your documentary,

31:06

I think we're done here. And what's crazy is he says over and over again, oh, it's Coke, it's Coke. When we were together, and I would say like, you're smoking crack, he would be like, don't say crack,

31:16

crack is a poor man's drug, say Coke, because it comes off more expensive. Excuse me? So if you see the documentary, all he does is reference Coke because he won't say the word crap. And I'm almost thinking, is that why he was mad at me? I'll be honest with you.

31:29

I would probably still be working with you till this day if it weren't for him. He is the reason I left. I didn't want to be around that stuff. Well, and that's also like, I haven't said 90% of the stories I have. This is why I'm going, sir, I want you to stop talking. Because I don't want to get in a position where I feel like I have to even defend you. And I couldn't have been nicer about the information I offered.

31:56

Because I have 90, literally, this was only 10% of the **** that I could talk about. It was nothing compared to photos and receipts and all those things so it's like remember yes you are dealing with decent people but don't take our kindness for weakness. These days we have to navigate a lot of noise when it comes to staying healthy or losing weight. There's always a new diet or workout that you hear about always a new diet or workout

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37:42

It's just proof that when someone's in your past, they're normally in your past for a reason. I know. So that's the learning. You can't even be kind like that. No, that's the lesson.

37:52

And especially you can't be kind to people that are such users. Yeah. Even the messages he sends you, oh, get my daughter, my daughter needs a manager. Yeah.

38:05

Hook her up with Chris, not even I. You can't say hello. No, he gets straight to the point. All you do is ask for favor. I don't respond to him anyway, because I want him to literally know that I read it.

38:18

And we talk about you. You have your red receipts on? No, but he knows I read it. You know what I mean? Because any other time that he's ever called me or text me, I respond. So you know I've seen your message. I want you to know that I've read it. I want you to know that we're talking about you and that your access has been denied. That's what I want you to know. I have seen like clips from like on TikTok basically like someone

38:41

will pull something that you said and then they'll like narrate their feelings behind it and it one thing that made me happy I want to share this with you because I think I shared something else one thing that made me happy was to see so many people read your heart the same that they were the same way you've always been but that they didn't know you were at that time. Because it's one thing to just say like,

39:06

yeah, I was there at the hospital, I did all of these things that maybe a nurse should have been doing. I was scared for you. I never wanted to leave Las Vegas, but I was like, I don't want to be here anymore, I love you.

39:17

Anyway, not about me. I just feel like the things that I heard people say where they're just like, God, she really is a good soul. Like, these guys really have not deserved her. But it's, I think- What is wrong with all of them?

39:39

I know I don't. Yeah, I think we need to be more judgmental because the truth is is if you see someone that doesn't carry the qualities and characteristics That you are no one has to be like you but someone should have your heart Someone should have your depth someone should lead with the spirit the way that you do You'll never be with another man like that again. It's dark It's you with another man period if that's the safest thing you find, so be it.

40:05

Right now it is.

40:06

I might be right there with you.

40:07

And then people are always like, why haven't you had a date in four years? I'm like, are we?

40:13

Have you seen the history?

40:14

Do you want to go back? Yeah. Let's go back 10 years and I can give you man I've been with and what trauma they cause me on a daily basis. Would you be skipping into your next relationship or would you be immersed in watching your stunning, beautiful children grow up

40:33

and build core, lifelong memories? I'm not letting a man with me right now. Can you imagine? We don't cry on pillows. We don't miss moments with our children or our families. My face is never puffy.

40:45

I haven't used eye drops in decades.

40:46

My skin's the best it's ever been. I sleep like, I'm not worried about someone's coming home, what they're doing, who they're with. My nervous system is regulated.

40:57

I got my heart checked the other day, and the guy was like, How are you? The guy was like, how are you? Guy was like, how did you, why are your levels like they're astronomical? You're amazing. You're like a 15 year old. And he goes, what did you do? I said, I sleep at night. Literally that was my answer. Sleep. Yeah. That's it. It's very

41:16

important. Very important. And these men are not. No, I said, the only thing that I will allow to rattle my nervous system is the stock market. That's it. I will never be in another situation with someone where I feel that disturbed by who you are. Doesn't that feel good though? My no game? No. I think the first sign if someone's stressing me out or like I know when I can like get out of my character. I'm like, actually, I will never text you or call you again.

41:49

You'll never see me again. No, you're blocked.

41:52

We don't do that anymore.

41:53

Crazy, it took us to get here to figure it out.

41:55

But that's fine.

41:56

I'll take it.

41:57

Because now we're good for our kids and that's really all that matters. I know. that matters. I don't need to be good for another adult. I'm good for my children. I think someone will be good for you one day. One day. It's not a mother f*** thought.

42:11

Just don't care.

42:11

Talk about happy.

42:12

Talk about bliss.

42:14

I know. This is joy right here.

42:16

It really is.

42:16

Me and you on a sofa.

42:18

No, it really is. Just talking. Single with kids. Just talking s***. with kids, happy, unbothered. Well, what's going on dating for you? Absolutely nothing.

42:28

No, literally absolutely nothing.

42:29

Okay, so who's on your list? Like what are five manifestation things that you want out of a man? He looks like George Clooney slash Richard Kier.

42:41

Okay.

42:43

He's deaf older than me. Okay., probably eats dinner at 430, goes to bed at 6. And then I can go have a glass of wine at your house while he's asleep, and then we get up and have an early breakfast, and he might name a yacht after me or something, I don't know.

43:02

DR. JANELLE MA Okay. What about anything on the inside? He cannot be his own leader. He has to be like Christ-led. Or have some higher power. No, because you know that ego, that's like, I run my life,

43:16

I'm the reason I'm so successful. I'm like, that's cool and all. You can support yourself and think highly of your work ethic. But like, if your higher power is yourself, no, absolutely not. So I'll never, never be led by someone that doesn't have

43:32

a strong spiritual, like, compass. Do you need someone to be your same religion? No. Okay. No. I actually believe that like, being led by spirit is more important to me than who you pray to. I believe if you pray, I believe it's all your God, my God. My relationship with God is my relationship.

43:55

So your relationship with God, I don't get involved in. I would love a man that I can pray with. I need a really good, strong leader. Because as you know, I have a tendency to get in my

44:05

head.

44:06

I want someone that has a life that's totally different from mine. Like I don't care if he makes those books. Like when we come together, we just have two different lives that actually work together and it's cohesive and joyful. I'd love a great father figure for my son. That would be my son really wants that.

44:26

I would like to have one more kid. I don't know. It's fine. If we don't, Ace will always be enough for me. That's fine. But it's not enough for Ace. He's like, where's my baby, mommy? He keeps saying, where's my baby and where's my pet? And I'm like, you'll probably get a baby before you get a pet. What? Because they eventually grow up and take care of themselves. I can't do that. I can't do it. I'm not telling a city get one. I'm just saying, you know, mommy is doing the best that she can to take care of you. And you're just gonna

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44:59

have to give mommy a minute. Why don't we go to Target and get a new toy? I just kind of, you know, that's my thing. It's terrible. No, no, no. I'd like a new toy. Well, I feel like you knew your manifestation list quite quickly, so that's good

45:14

that you're thinking about it.

45:15

Yeah, I think I wrote it down.

45:17

What about yours?

45:20

I don't have one.

45:21

At all? So what are you manifesting? It doesn't have to be a man. So what are you manifesting?

45:26

Manifesting, I mean, I'm just like happy, healthy. I like just being as present as possible. But I am really fixated on some of my businesses. Like brand new businesses are like babies. So I'm needing to give a lot of energy and time there. And first and foremost, my kids.

45:45

But like, that's what, or my energy goes. It's not, like if it's not work, it's my kids. If it's my kids, it's work. And then I just don't think about a man right now. I really don't. And I'm not mad about that.

45:59

I get it.

46:00

So is there anything else that you want that you don't have? I mean, I'm sure if I think about things, I think what I would love is to learn to balance. Like friend life a little more, sometimes I'm like, oh, I would love to do this once a week, but knowing that's not realistic for me because like the weeks get away from me. Right. But like really making it.

46:24

Why can't I twice a month go to a dinner with my friends? Like, sometimes I feel like I need to schedule it, and then once I'm there, I'm great.

46:35

Yeah, but you have to have the energy to actually do it.

46:37

And sometimes I don't, but I know when I'm there, I have so much fun, and I need that for my soul. See, our relationship is like very different. We spent a lot of our time growing up side by side and now as we've gotten older, it's separated. A lot of people don't see their friends every day. They like see them maybe on the weekend or on their birthday. I think

46:58

that's kind of normal.

47:00

I don't know what's normal anymore. I really, really don't. Just a few random

47:09

girl chat questions. First core memories of each other.

47:12

First core memories. The day I met you. Which was?

47:14

God. I think I was at Andre's house. I was like, I was going for the age. I think I was 16, 17. Yeah, 16 or 17. And you were like a platinum blonde. I was like, who's this tall drink of water? And you laughed exactly the same. But you were sweet and so inviting because I didn't even know if I was going to talk to you.

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47:40

I was like, oh my God, this is Chloe. So Malika's boyfriend was one of my best friends and he, which we didn't realize at the time, but he kept us apart from each other. I think he just was like, he knew we would fall in love and be besties. So he was like, I'm not doing this.

47:54

And he kept us apart. And I was picking something up from Andre's house because he lived so close to me at the time. And Malika answered the door and I was like, hey, you look like a nice girl. And we were just like chatting. And we just chatted in the doorway. Did we hang out like the next day or something? Yeah. And then I met your sister. And me and

48:15

your sister became besties while you were with Andre. And we just were obsessed. Integrable. We've been together ever since. Ever since. Thoughts on audiobooks versus reading a book? Ooh. So I love actual books. Same. I love texture.

48:34

I love the way they feel. I love the smell. But practicality, if I just need to get information and I'm trying to get two things done at once, whether I'm walking, I like to listen to an audio book. Or in the car. So I don't feel like I retain the information as well.

48:50

Like, for audio, I like it and it's time-saving, but if I have a real book and can highlight or whatever, I just remember it so much more.

48:59

So studious of you.

49:01

Ha ha ha.

49:02

Social anxiety, do you have a?

49:05

Highly. A really, and it's weird because I was not like this when we were younger. I know. My social anxiety is so bad. I can feel someone looking at me from behind.

49:16

I think it's a COVID thing. Really? I think it was born in 2020.

49:20

I think I was like that before. It just got worse now that I have a kid. Maybe. I feel like I have eyes around my entire head.

49:26

Oh yeah, that's being a mom.

49:27

I'm too aware, so it's not enjoyable. I'm like, I'll just stay home.

49:31

That's being a mom. But Ace makes me go to restaurants. He's very social. Oh my God, he made me,

49:38

he was introducing me and my mom to someone in Costco, he didn't even know her. He was like, hi, I'm Ace. What's your name? This is my mom. This is my Yuma. I was like, oh my God, he's so cute.

49:49

But he like makes me talk to people and I have anxiety. But that's good. Maybe that's what you need. He'll help me grow out of it. How do you feel when you watch people do of you and I. Mm-hmm.

50:07

Those are always so funny.

50:08

They're so cute. They go so far back. We're so young. I'm like, wow, those Keeping Up days are like different scenes and like Courtney and Chloe take Miami. I'm like, oh my goodness. Do you forget like for me, and I don't know if it's because I filmed so much but like Keeping Up was on and Savaz and Rel were like, do you want to watch this? I was like, sure, let's see what it is because like, do you know what this means? Kendall and Kylie ruin,

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50:38

like the description was like Kendall and Kylie damage, Kris's rug, something. And I was like, I have no idea. I was like, you guys, we filmed so much. I like, I don't know. And watching it, I don't remember one thing. And then like, there's some episodes, it's like, I'm right there. I remember it, but some are just like, I don't know.

51:00

I don't remember a thing. Do you see stuff like that and you're like, oh, I need to watch this because I don't remember? No, I just see a lot of things, even of Chloe and Lamar's show. And I was like, oh my goodness, we really did. And that was like two seasons, right?

51:16

I was like, we did a lot.

51:18

We did a lot. We did a lot. Yeah, there was a lot. And I don't like I we have really great memories together, but there's just some moments where I'm like Me and this girl really used to rip and run. Ah, we were busy. How quickly do you respond to emails? Oh, I'm slow these days.

51:37

I sort of respect that. I'm a little slow these days and I I don't love it But I think that's because there's things in my life that need to be better organized so that I can like, I just like don't have a full-time assistant now. So there's more things that I'm physically doing because they're in front of me. I sometimes I just like don't even know where my phone is. So what I try to do is don't go to the phone and I'll sit in my closet and then go on the computer and try to go through my emails that way.

52:06

For some reason when it's a little bigger, I feel less, I don't know, I get more stuff

52:10

done too.

52:11

Okay. I get annoyed with how quickly I will respond to things sometimes because like now that my day is running away from me, I can't. And I have over 100 new emails from today. I'm like, I don't have the energy for this right now. My picture of you in my head, you have your phone in your hand.

52:29

Yeah, that's not good. And you're responding to something. That's not good.

52:33

But you have a very full life, honey.

52:34

There's a lot going on. Are you an exclamation point person? Facts. I am like everything. I'm like screaming. Yeah. Hi! But why are girls like this? Why do we do that? We're dramatic. That's what it is.

52:52

Everything I'm screaming about. I'm just so happy. And I'm like, in real life, I'm not that happy. Why am I so happy? It's crazy. You like a little extra emphasis on things. I think it's part of your character.

53:03

It's cute.

53:04

I don't know why I'm like that. Crying in public.

53:07

Oh, I will cry anywhere. Nothing's changed about me.

53:10

It's crazy. If I feel it, I cannot hold back my emotions. No, I know. But the crying has really... I can't believe you're not over it.

53:19

No, it's really hardwired in who I am.

53:23

Yeah. Like you will laugh till you cry. Oh, me and Chris are just like in that way. Crying over anything. But we feel deeply, honey. No, it's great. I just don't know how you guys do it.

53:35

It doesn't bother us so much. No. We think it's healthy. What is your bedtime routine now? now. I know you used to like a glass of wine and to go to bed. Yeah, so no now we're going to tea. Tea? Tea. Like chamomile? Like it's giving like sometimes like a liver kidney flesh recently. Oh, yeah.

53:56

Little metal. That's better. Ginger, honey, like I switch it up. I thought you were gonna say like a liver tea. I was like that's fucking nasty. No, no, no, no, not the actual protein.

54:06

I like to take my vitamins, wash my face, mask my hands. Oh my God. I mean, it takes almost as long at night to get ready for bed as it does to get ready in the morning. Seriously.

54:18

Are you one of those girls that do like the mouth tape and all that? No, I started that and I got over it so quickly. I cannot be one of them. Yeah, I just, I was just weird. Does Ace sleep through the night? He does, but he has a new thing where he wakes up around like 5am and gets in bed with me. That's fine. Yeah, but it's awful from 5 to 6 with him in bed. No, he's a spinner. Mm-hmm. It's just like I get kicked in the face

54:46

Like I actually got up this morning and got in his bed. Oh He came to his room. He goes mommy. Why did you leave your bed? I was like you kicked me, honey He's like, oh, I'm so sorry. I was so sleep What is your criteria for people to get close to you? Patience. I require quite a bit of patience because I don't let people in the way I once did. Sometimes you and your sister just pick up random people that you guys become friends with. I don't have any randoms. I have no strays.

55:15

Right now... No, but I'll see you guys like, be like, happy birthday to so-and- so. I'm like, to who? I don't know, I don't know these people ever. Haven't seen them, don't know them. You'll be at like their birthday lunch. I'm like, honestly, Malika, go home.

55:31

Oh no, that was Khadija. Are you talking about, I told you, like she has like mom friends.

55:36

No, Khadija's another beast. I don't really have any mom friends. She loves a friend. You know her. She's got like her church group. And I'm happy for her for that. She's got her, you know, she's like a real mom friend. Fine, the next time I see it on your stories, I'm going to be like, I'll just send you the

55:51

i's. I know you will.

55:53

I know you will. But you do make random friends. I don't have any randoms. I swear. like four years ago and she's my business partner now. So. Yes, Anna's one of them.

56:05

Yeah, that's about it.

56:07

No, there's others. I'll send it to you. Don't worry.

56:10

Who are you talking about?

56:11

Who are these random? Are you jealous? You could never be jealous.

56:15

You're first in my eyes, girl.

56:17

Thank you. It's you. It's you or it's you. That's all I need to hear sometimes. And I know I don't have the energy, so go hang out with Anna and the other ones. But just know, when I call, it's on.

56:31

May 8th, okay? It's on, May 8th.

56:35

May 8th, we're having a date, you and I. We're going out. And Cameron. And Cameron, yeah.

56:39

Who else is on the list? Oh my god, I'm gonna tell him to send it to us. Hold on. Yep. Send us the dinner list.

56:45

The invite list.

56:46

Send us the list.

56:47

And I also need to know, like, vibes of clothing. Nosy. We want to know the invite list for your birthday. Don't worry, we're still gonna come, but we think we might want to make a few edits. You can't edit someone else's birthday. Uh, yeah we can. Well, Malik, this was fun. I would love to do this again. It was an easy, breezy, casual talk.

57:08

Whenever you want love, I will come and hang out with you. Thank you for having me in Wonderland again. Whenever you want love, I will come and hang out with you. Thank you for having me in Wonderland again. Thank you. Of course. Okay, let's go continue our date. Alright, let's do it.

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