We Tried Every British Seaside Cliché... Except One!

Hello.Oh, that was rubbish.What was that?

I don't know.That was like TV presenter.

Hello there.

Hi, I'm James and this is Helen.And who would live in a house like this?

Join us today in a B &B in Bridlington.So what we're doing on this video, a bit of a daft video.We were talking, we arrived yesterday.We're here for three days.And hello.

Hello.

We thought we'd see how much.We were reminiscing about traditional holidays, traditional British seaside holidays.So we're going to see how many things that we can do that we used to do when we were little and we're starting off right now going on beach yeah yes let's go i think we should have a sandcastle competition oh we're going to do it all we're doing everything you won't win i said in a pub last night or in a restaurant i went can i bury you and the woman next door went i thought you said can i marry you yeah i'd rather be buried So, right, I'm just going to quickly show you this room.So this is, what's it called?The Royal.I'll show you when we get outside.

It's called The Royal, I think.And it's a traditional B &B.It's been quite nice.The Royal Hotel.

Brilliant.

Show you around.We got the last room.This was the only room they had available.So it's like a twin.It's all right.It's pretty, it's traditional, shall we say.

Yeah.

It's got everything you need.Let me show you a garden.Garden's really nice.I'm finished with you guys, I'm telling you.

As soon as you came out, look, they're calling their friends.

Yeah, they woke me up at like five o 'clock this morning.Anyway, look at this.It's lovely this, isn't it?

It is, it's really nice.

Yeah, it's tranquil.

I've already had the Merlin bird app out.She has.Yeah, this morning.And we've had breakfast and the breakfast was really nice.

Yeah, it was lovely.Right, we need to get to thebeach, love.Oh, we do.Let's do it.Let's go.

It's a four star, Ellen.It's nice, to be fair.I like it.Proper traditional.And it's just right here near the beach.

Yeah, location, location, location.Oh, look, the sea.

We need to be quick because all spaces will have gone.

Oh, gosh, look, they're swimming over there.

They're not messing about.

Oh, look at the boats.

They're beautiful, aren't they?

They're little yachts, or whatever they call them.

There's the Land Train.That is on the list as well, but we've already done it, haven't we, Ellen?Yeah, yesterday.We did it yesterday.Are you having fun?

Honestly, Alan at the front, he's a speed demon.

We did something else yesterday, didn't we?What, karaoke?That's not a traditional British...It's traditional in Japan.

It's traditional when we come to Bridlington.We like to go and rub shoulders and have an eat -up with the locals in the Brunswick.

But I just wanted to segue that in so I could put the footage on.We should have booked a chalet, shouldn't we?

Yeah, but they cost a lot.

They are expensive.

You see, when I was younger, I wouldn't go in a chalet with my mum and dad.We were poor.Oh, give me that.

We always had chalets.Well, you were rich.What?Because we had a chalet?

I bet you had fizzy pop.

Oh, we had fizzy pop and chalets.Right, well, we didn't.We were like the Fonthloroys.

we'll have a sandcastle competition all these things on the list sandcastles yes looking for shells having a paddle having a paddle i wish there were some donkeys but i don't think there are

you on.They won't let me on.

Yeah, it'll be cruelty to animals.

RSPCA coming.You got my paper?

Got your pen.

You're on your post, love.

Yeah.

That's a bit too cerebral for me.

Is it?What do you mean, cerebral?

I wanted Sunday Sport.

They'd only got the Sunday Telegraph.

We're just going to sit here all day, and then we'll work through a list, and we'll tick off everything.What we've done.Look, look at all our...Yeah, we nicked them.We've borrowed these.Cheers.

Cheers.

I've got your Strava Hama Hama Hama.I don't know what it's called.What is it?It's that Czech beer.No, it's Prague.Yeah, Prague.

That's good.Is that nice?I've got a cider.You watch now, I've begun the trend.What cider?People will start coming down with beers now in a minute.

Oh, I see.

They were all waiting to see who was going to fold first.It's obviously going to be me, isn't it?

Yeah.

So, yeah, we're going to just sit here.I need to tick off.So what have we done so far?Decked chairs on each so that we can tick that off list.

Yeah.

Bed and breakfast and right land train.So we'll tick them off.Do I look good?Yeah.I don't know why, because I've got my baseball hat on.

I just wanted to see you, innit?

She's actually been and bought this hanky.£5, you spent £5 on hankies?

Yeah but I've got four and look at how stylish those ones are.

Just so you could make me look like an idiot.There you go, I will take a selfie.Shall I do it?No.

And then we can do a selfie together.Yeah, you do it.Which one do you think?

I think the chequered one you should wear, yes.I got this ink shot.Do you remember them?

Yeah.

Paddle ball, right.

Are you any good at it?

I don't know.No.

God, be careful.

I'm not good at it, am I?

We'll have to call in health and safety.Oh, three.You're going to have someone's eye out.

I'm checking it back, it's stupid.

It's rubbish.Is it rock?It don't work.Here.

Oh, you're worse than me.Oh, hang on.Hang on.It's a bit like that, isn't it?You've got some right wrist action going there, haven't you?

Well, you know all about that.She's an animal.

It's hard to do it and not look an idiot, isn't it?Yeah.

Well, like pull a funny face like that.

Going round.

What have you got there?Wow, that is a posh ice cream.

You've got to guess the flavour.It's unusual.You can have this one if you don't like it.

It's buttery.

Is it?Is it butterscotch?No, it's coffee.Is it not nice?

No, it's lovely.

I would say if you want.

Oh no, I can't take that away from you.Why?These are the poshest ice creams.I don't know about you lot, I would never have had one of these when I was little.

No.

Were they out of date?

No, they're a new thing.I was going to get lemon tops, but it's melting quick, that's a problem.Yeah, so what's your favourite ice cream flavour?There's so many different flavours now.

I used to love those Screwballs.Do you know, with the bubbly in the butter?

Yeah, they were good.So that's another thing to tick off the list.Have an ice cream.

On the beach, we'll try not to get sand in it.

Next thing is paddling.Right.I'm doing it.I'm going to swim to France.Not France, is it, over there?It's Poland out there.

Is it?I thought it was like Amsterdam.

No, it's Poland.

But I can't get up.See you in a minute.See you in a bit.

Mother of kids.Or is it just me being a massive wuss?Do you remember having a dinghy?Oh my God, that's cold.I'm in the North Sea.It's like that scene off Jaws, isn't it?

That's all I'm doing.That's it.That's paddling.Ticked it off.Done.Back to Helibob's now.

Have you noticed when you're coming back from the sea, you can never find you?Your deck chairs, can you?It's like they move.Somebody moves them.I probably drifted down coast a little bit as I was paddling there.Oh, I can see her.

Are you having fun there?

It's got busy now, hasn't it?It is, it's got very busy.

I've looked for a shell, because I really wanted to come back with a Winkle shell and say, look, I've got a little Winkle.And I thought that would have been funny, but I've not found one.I found an oyster shell.

Don't talk to me about oysters, thanks.

So that's paddling ticked off.

Did you enjoy it?

No, to be honest.My feet are stinging.

Oh dear, that's not a good sign, is it?They've probably dumped toxic waste in there.

Probably, yeah.

It's not coming out.

Oh, it's a bit better.

Oh, that's nice.

It looks like some ancient ruins.There you go.

Can we go now?Yeah.I'm joking.

We'll have to give us whirligigs to some kids or something.Yeah.I think I've won.Do you think?Yeah, mine's definitely better.They're having to clear the beach, it's an emergency.

They're launching a lifeboat apparently.Oh, that poor little girl.She's spent all afternoon building that hole and they're filling it in.Building a hole.Digging a hole.Oh, bless her.

She's distraught, Ellen.That's a cat, you go round it.It's pandemonium, Ellen.Pandemonium in Bridlington Beach.It were funny that, it were like Yorkshire Jaws.You know them Jaws when it's like, everybody out of the water.

This were like, everybody shift.Get out of the way, Yorkshire Jaws.Budge over there, Yorkshire Jaws.I wonder where they're launching it to?Out into the sea, probably.Kitchen, well done.

Right, we're off the beach.We never got to see the lifeboat as it happened.They stood down.They stood down because it was some kids...I was chatting to a lady back there and it was some kids that had gone missing on beach.So they send the lifeboat out anywhere they've never even been in to see.

I bet they felt a bit daft.

Anyway, we're heading to the harbour now.We're going to do more things off the list.That includes a boat ride, cockles, candy floss, rock, fish and chips and as many other things we can think of.

Crabbing here?

I've got to do crabbing, it's on the list.

Yeah, but what are you going to do?Throw your hand line over and it'll just hit that thing?

No, I'm not doing one wheel like a line.I'm just going to overturn a few rocks.

No, crabbing's when you get your hand line.

I'm not picking one up.

Hey, the water's brown.

It's full of shit, that's why.Raw sewage.It's just raw sewage.I'm only kidding, it's that.

Look, that is what crabbing is.

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

When you get your bait from the bait shop.I don't know.

God, that seagull were coming in.I thought it were going to land on your head then.That's another thing what you have to do on a traditional British seaside holiday is have a fight with a seagull or maybe have one do its business on you.That usually happens.

That's supposed to be good luck.

Down at Harbour yesterday, they were really vicious.

They were like dive bombers.

Yeah, they're really bad.

Yeah.Should we have a walk along?

Yeah, if you want.And see what they're doing?Yeah, we'll see what the...See if they've caught anything....the crabbing forecast is.No, I just, when I thought of crabbing, I just thought of just turning some rocks over and looking at them.

That's not crabbing.Yeah, but I'm scared to my life.You've got a phobia, haven't you?

I don't like crabs, you know, I don't.I'm only doing it for the video.

Yeah, but you could catch fish.

I'm not going to stand there for an hour, we're a bit astraying.

But, do you know what, they've got like little baskets on the bottom.

Yeah, I can't be bothered.

We were hardcore when we were little.

Because if we get one, how are we going to get it out of the basket?I'm not touching it.Come on.

I'd get it out.

Yeah, let's have a walk along here.Okay.I wouldn't say they were overly successful, those people back there.Would you?Oh, these might be better.Yeah.

They were like the tiniest little...What do you call a mini crab?

A baby crab.A crabette.A crabler.

A crabler, yeah.See if these have done better.Yeah, I think they've got some in there.He's just going to empty them out.He don't care, look at him.Oh, look.

Yeah, they've got lots of crabs in there.

Oh my goodness.

Yeah.See that?See, don't look brown now.It's just, I mean, that's like, that's like French Riviera, that island.But near the beach, it would cuss at sand, wouldn't it?Yeah.

Right, let's go and get on a speedboat.Do you want to do that?If you want.We've got to do it, that's on the list.Does it have to be a speed boat?Do you want to do a pirate ship or something?

No, that's for kids.The thing is, if we do Bridlington Bell...Is it a long way?Yeah, it's going to take forever, isn't it?We haven't got time.We've got fish and chips to have.

We need candy floss.

There's a bucket of candy floss.

I want one of them machines.I don't want a bucket.I want one of them machines.

I don't think they do those machines anymore.

I need some cockles and mussels.Are you going to get your cockles?Yeah.You're going to get your cockles.Oh, no.Nightmare.

Better watch them seagulls.

Oh, look.

Yeah, look, there's crabs there.

That poor crab's there.They're £22 .70.

We can't say we've been crabbing now, can't we?Probably can't see that for a reflection.Yeah.But you're having cockles?

Yes.

You're risking it eating cockles.Oh gosh.You've got to be so careful, haven't you?

Should I go underneath somewhere?

Well, they'll not come down while I'm here.I'll shout to you.They've been on top of that boat.Look at the state of it.

Oh no.That's terrible.

I wanted old school, but that's all I can find.But I've got to do it, so I don't even like it.

I don't.I'll try it.We've got to have some...We've got to do it.It's the law.It's the law.

That looks absolutely awful, doesn't it?

It does.Has someone stuck their fingers in it?Probably.

I've not had candy floss since about 1970, whenever.

Oh gosh, that's a big bit.

It's hurting my teeth.I want to give it to a small child.Yeah, but they might not want it.I'm not eating that, it's horrible.

I think I'd be upset if a strange man gave my child some candy floss.

Who put that on the list anyway?You.I was just thinking about traditional candy floss.stuff and candyfloss come up.It's absolutely awful.You don't look like you're enjoying them, Alan.

I am, no.I've got like a shell.Why?What are you doing it for?What's the point in it?

Barnacle.

It's mental, isn't it?I am enjoying them.It's round.We need to do the tacky gift, so we're doing it in here?

I don't know.Maybe this is not tacky enough.

Well, you go and get me one, and I'll wait out here for you.Is this my gift?

Yeah.

Is this my tacky gift?It is. I'm excited.

Oh, yeah.Why would you do that?

It's a crab.That genuinely scares me.It's a magnetic crab, Helen.

It's a fridge magnet.It's just, it's to help you with your recovery.

That's not going to go on my fridge.Look at it.Look at it.It's dangling.

Look, you can look at that and, like, you know, desensitise yourself and get used to it.

Thank you, it's the thought that counts.It's actually quite nice that.I'm going to learn to love crabs.

Yeah.

I'm going to overcome it.

Honestly, you need to sort it out.

I'm going to sort it.

It's an irrational fear.I love you, little crab.

Kiss the crab.

It's my pet.It is.It's your pet.What are you going to call it?Crabby.Crabby.

Colin.

Colin the crab.Yeah, good one.There you go.Thank you, darling.You're welcome.That's very kind.

I will get you something from another shop of around equal value.Right, we're going on this speedboat and you keep trying to put it off.Look, if you want to go pirate ship, we can do that.

We'll go on a speedboat.if you want.What do you want to do?Whatever you want to do, darling.

Are you walking on a speedboat?Yeah.

Hey, it's good isn't it?It's better than you think, isn't it?It is, isn't it?I couldn't tell you liked it.It was good, that.

Yeah.Did you enjoy that?

I did, it was really good fun.

It was good, that, wasn't it?

Yeah, is my hair an absolute mess now?

Yeah.Yeah.It's blown mine off.You've got nothing.

left.

Right, we need to go.So that's another one ticked off.That was good actually.I liked that.

Yeah, it was funny.

It was better than what I thought.

We nearly head on with the Viking pirate ship, whatever.

It was better than what I thought it was going to be.

Yeah, me too.

Do you know what's next on the list?

Grabbers.

No, they're later on.The next is to buy some rock.So you need to get like a rock dummy or something like that.And as it just so happens, the John Bull Rock shop is here.

I'm going to get the kids some.

Yeah.What's your favourite flavour, Helen?

I used to like Aniseed Rock.Did you?Yeah.

Have they got it?

Yeah, it's there.Where?Just there.Look, it's popular.

Oh, yeah.That's the Aniseed Rock.Mine's got to be rhubarb and custard if they do it, but...

Oh, do you know the traditional...Do you remember that?Like the pink rock?

Yeah, the pink rock, yeah.

That's like mint, isn't it?

We need either, like, a lolly.Or a dummy, don't we?What's that?Oh, I don't want it.

You may want this one then.

Yeah, I'll have that one.Anyway, I've got what we were looking for.

What, a dummy?Oh, no.

Well, I don't want it, but we've got to do it.

Well, let's just buy one little stick of rock.

Don't you want to give that to your kids?

Oh, right, I'll buy some.I'll buy two dummies.

OK.What about...I remember them.Breakfast.

Oh, Jumbo Rock Dummy 235.Rock in the window here.

What's happened to that?Yeah, but there's the actual factory, which is quite...Oh, look what they've got there.Alan Jazzles.Oh, no.Fish and chips now.

Pub.We've got to do a pub.The only problem is we should have left that last because we'd probably be in there for the rest of it now.

Yeah.

So we've got to do it at Slots.

Yes.

So, exciting.Is it all round here, the Slots?Yeah, we'll come for them up here.It's best Slots.Are you going to get a wave?

Yeah, that little girl, that woman.

That were you yesterday, weren't it?Waving to everybody.Could you imagine if we got there?And they'd run out.Ain't got no fish and chips, mate.

Well, there's loads of people outside.

There is.These are the best fish and chips in Bridlington.That's put a smile on your face, hasn't it?This looks nice, it has.Yeah, I hope these are up to standard.I've not put any salt and vinegar on, so you can put your own on.

I've got Pei's.Helen's a -wronging, so she's got curry sauce.

These are better than Seahouse's fish and chips.Well, the chips are, so far.

Quite a special recipe, obviously.Is it?Yeah.Look at that fish.

Yeah, do you know with the last fish and chips I had, there was something missing.

Let me try peas proper.Peas proper.They're not as good as normal, the peas.Are they?They're good, but...Controversial.

It's really white fish, meaty and very crispy batter.What do you think?

It tastes fresh.

It does.

It tastes tasty.You can tell, do you know, when it's too old.

Are you pleased then?Let me try a bit of your curry again.I'm still not jury's heart for me week.With curry?Yeah.No, I mean just curry in general and fish and chips.

Oh, I like it.How did it come about?

I don't know.It's not a real thing.

Is it something to do with, like, Chinese food, you think?

I don't know.We ain't going to get sat here anyway, are we?Oh, you never know.We're not going to get sat here.Not a chance, look.We'll go and sit outside Revelstoke in shade, like a pair of saddos.

Quite good in there.They've got a singer on.They do a quiz and everything, yeah.It's a bit cold now, you know, because you've been at some.We've all got to look at our people across the year, lapping it up.

Well, do you know if I see a table being vacated, I'll be like, James!

Paint a landlord.And I've got lemonade.So that's another thing to tick off the list.Winter pub.Yeah.And then it's slots.

Slots, bingo.Grabbers, that's going to cost £1 ,000.a fortune, isn't it?The grabbers, well, I think we'll only have a quid's worth.You've got to go for it.

It's one big con.We might as well go to a shop and buy one.It's cheaper.

I think this hotel is something to do with, like, golfing holidays, because they do a deal.I saw a poster inside.And you get to play a few rounds of golf and two nights in the hotel and your meals.I can't remember how much it was, but it was quite reasonable.And I've just seen all these guys coming past with their with their golfing sticks.Golf cues.

Oh, so that other bit must be part of it.

That was a nice refreshing drink.We're going to go in here now.We're going to do the slots, the grabbers and everything.So we're going to the Forum, which is...Is it the best one?

Every time I come here to Bredwick Kids, we end up spending hours in this place.That's for hotels.What's that over there?

No, I think it was a draw.

It was a draw, Helen.And can I just add that Helen took a small child out, didn't she?Lost my touch.Yeah, I don't think you've ever had a touch, though.I know you didn't win though, you got 86.What did you do?

You didn't.

I did, did I?

What did you say?Thank you.You're not a sore loser, are you?

No.

So you've lost at three things.

I've not.I've won you at the basketball.

We need a rematch on that.

Sorry, I will rephrase that.I won basketball and I beat you.

Right, this is worth 300 points, this ticket.What did we get for that?

A pack of cards!

Yeah, a pack of cards.

Can we have a pack of cards, please?So then you've got another 150 left.

What's another 150 think?

You will have a plane.A plane, please.

Thank you very much.We can have a go with the plane.We'll give that to a little boy or something.I don't think it's...

That sun's bright, isn't it?It is.

Right, I think the bingo is in here, or it used to be when I was about 10.Oh yeah.And my grandma spent hours and hours playing the bingo in here.So they might not even have it anymore.There's your mate there, Alan, look.

I'm devastated.Me too.

Put some effort into your me too.

Look at five of us in two pencil machines.

More importantly, there's no bingo.What are we going to do for bingo?I don't know.I think there's one at Noble's up here.If not, we'll just go to a pub and we'll play bingo in hotel rooms.We'll play naked.

Whatever that is. I don't know what it is.Strip poker, you've got your cards.Oh yeah, we could cook there.

I don't even know how to play it.

I'll tell you what, if I go undressed, that's definitely the booger prize.In two senses of the word.Right, we'll try Nobles, if not...

Oh gosh, that is blinding.

It's blinding, isn't it?What a beautiful evening.Because we're not used to it.It's been absolutely amazing today.Bingo.This is our last hope.

Is this proper bingo?How does it work?Is it?Is it?Oh, so it's all different places linked up?How do you know if you've won?

It's 71.71 will come in there, in the round ball.And then if it's gone, that lights up yellow.

And you just press claim?All right.

Sometimes it claims itself.

When...What do I do?Nothing?Just watch it?I've got seven to go.Am I doing OK?

You know, it's five a word.You've got five a word.

What do you mean?So I just need the number 5, do I?No, you need 4 now.Oh right, I need 4.I'll get you right, I'm getting it.4 to go.

Oh, it's changed, hasn't it?Three.How many have you got?Two?I'm going to win, me and Ellen.I've got four.

Yeah, I'm going to win.How much do you win?

Now you need 57.

I need 57.Yay!

You've got it.

10 grand.

You haven't got 10 grand.

10 pound 30 if you're not sharing it.

Is it 10 pound 30?

Where does the money come out?It comes out automatically.10 pound 30 you've got.I like this.Oh, so it comes out.Oh, you like it.

I love this.That was terrible, that.There's no wonder there's nobody playing it.You just sit and look at the screen.Well, you don't do anything.You don't do anything.

There's no skill involved, is there?

You just watch the screen.But I went in, put a quid in, and come out with £10 .30.So we've got to go back to the pub now.Drinks are on me.Cheers, darling.

Cheers.Oh, well done.

You've had a winning streak today, haven't you?I've won everything.No, not the basketball.So it's a nice pub, this, isn't it?

Yeah, I like it.

I've got a new sombrero here.Sleck dust.And Helen's got a...

I've got a Rioja.

A Rioja.

Darlings.

And then that's it.So, I think we'll call it a day then and then we'll...

I hope we see you tomorrow, won't we?

We're shattered, yeah.

I know.I think we should just get in bed.

Yeah, we'll go back.I'll do some...We'll play strip poker or whatever.We'll see you tomorrow.

I don't even know how to play it.You'll lie to me, so I'll lose.

I'll definitely cheat, yeah.You'll cheat, so I get to put my clothes back on, won't you?

Yeah.

So, tomorrow we're going to do some, like, scenic stuff.We'll go up to Flamborough or to North London.Yeah, that'd be nice.We've ticked off loads of stuff on the list.today.The only stuff we've not done.

I asked only to get you a cheesy gift.

Oh yeah, where's my cheesy gift?

I'll get you that in the morning.I want you to do crabbing, but they're the only two things.Oh, and crazy golf.We had crazy golf on the book.Do you want to do crazy golf?

If we have to.

I'm not that bothered.If we accidentally forget on purpose.

Do you know what the best thing for my...Out of what?

What?

Put my teeth in.What?Do you know what the most exciting thing for me today was?

It was very good.

I did like the beach though, sitting on the deck chairs.

That was good.Yeah.We'll see you in the morning.

Good morning.Welcome to the By The Curb show.We're broadcasting from a beautiful sunny Monday morning on Bank Holiday Monday.How are you feeling today, James?

What do you think, how are you?Did you like that?Yeah, it was brilliant.Best thing I've ever heard.Gorgeous.It's going to be even hotter today.

We've been so lucky with this weather, haven't we?Yeah.So, we've backed down this bit because we've got a few things on the list that we need to tick off.And one of them, it's a classic, when you come on your holidays to the seaside.Crazy golf.Got to do crazy golf.

Helen, we're a bit reluctant to play because she knows I'm going to beat her.Because I always beat you, don't you?

Oh no, you've got a cold sore.

Yeah, I think I've got a cold sore.That's just the sun yesterday, I think.

So she won't kiss me. I think you're just making it up as an excuse.

I'm just making it up so I don't have to.

Yeah.

What do you want, Helly Bobs?Choose your colour.

Well, can I just look at them first?

Oh, God, it's going to be like this, isn't it?

I like the yellow one.

Go on, you have the yellow one.blue?Let's go.Hole number one.Start here.It's Dolly Duck.

You just want me to do bad.Of course I do.I want to beat you.Oh dear.

Can we try?That was a practice shot.

No.See, this is what it's like with kids.They have so many practices.I'll let you have that one practice.Okay.That's it, okay?

Oh, she's in.See, that's an easy hole.That'll lure you into a false sense of security.Thanks.

1 -1. It's not in.Do you want to come and get it in?I'll come and get it in.2. Go on, Helly Bobs.Right, these holes are like buckets.

They're big holes, aren't they?Let's see the master at work.Oh, how many wines did you have last night?It's going to be a long day, isn't it?Come on, Helen.Well done.

So bloody good.He tries to beat his kids.Oh, actually that was...Oh, that was quite good, that.Of course it was.Well done, James.

Look at his little face.

Inside, you're seething.I'm not.That's two.I'm already so far ahead.

You like to be praised.No, we got a hole -in -one on the first.I'm only one behind.

No, you were one behind on that one.This is what you do, you see.We should have wrote these down.

No.Well, I thought you'd got your little scorecard.

I have, but I can't be bothered.You're reckless, you, aren't you?I don't believe it.

Her face, then.

We've skipped a hole, but, yeah.I mean, I'm winning, so that's all people need to know.I doubt it.

No, no, you're not even keeping score.

I beat you in a couple.You're playing hockey, you.You're just scooping it around.Have we got time to go to Boy's, do you think?Yeah.You want to go to Boy's for a...

For a cup of tea.

Yeah, come on then.I can always get a ticket online if you go of it.

Why?How...

What time?Well, we've got till quarter past 12.It's quarter to 11.

Oh, gosh, that's cutting it fine.So, what did you think?I think I got some good shots in.That don't matter, does it, Helen?

You can't imagine Seve Ballesteros, can you, Pete?When he's lost the...

Seve Ballesteros?

Is it Seve?Savvy?Semmy?

Does he sing that?

You can't imagine Tiger Woods going, oh, well, I did some good shots.And they go, well, we'll give you the prize.

Is he that singer?No, that's Julio Inglés, yes.I always get them mixed up.

so right that is uh another thing off the list crazy golf we've not got many more to do i've got to buy you a gif a tacky gif and we've got to do crabbing i think that's it but there is one more thingthat we're going to add it's not like a standard tradition but it's our tradition and that is to go to boys yeah I've got a bone to pick with you Halibobblers so we were chatting to an old guy down there lovely guy and he says oh it's warm isn't it he says I want to go swimming at sea I said oh I went to sea yesterday but it were really cold and then what did you say?You went to your ankles.

I like dobbing me in.

I was painting this illusion that I was like Duncan Goodyear, wasn't I?Swimming lengths and breadths across North Sea.She ruined it.Boys, the theatre of dreams.Let's do it.We'll do a cafe first, then I can wait there while you have a look around the shop.

We're going up and left?Yeah.You going to a cafe as well?No, it's place number two.

All right.Going to ladies' fashions and underwear.

Hello.Hello.Nice to see you here again.Again?What are you fancying then?Are you just having a drink or are you up for a cake?

Oh gosh no, I'm not.Do you know what we need to do?We need to see if they've combed the hair on that mannequin.

Right, and just like that we have a lemon drizzle cake.

What's that in the middle of it?

Lemon.I've got a coffee.

Like buttercream?

Yeah, it's really nice actually, it's quite tangy.And Helen's got a cup of tea.You don't want a piece of this?

No thank you.

Yeah, you do.You know you do.I don't.

You've not brought a spoon.

I have.There's a spoon under there.Let's have a look at the view out this window.It's really good.It's already very busy on the beach down there.Great.

Did you enjoy that, my darling?Yes.It was very nice, wasn't it?

It was just nice to sit.

Yeah.We need to go into the museum and check the guy's hair.

I'm not even sure which guy you're talking about.

Oh, I'll show you in a minute.And then what are you wanting to get?

Some wool, some yarn.I'm going to start crocheting.

Be younger alone.Oh, that's croquet.Same thing, isn't it?Right.

Yeah, I've never played.It looks really complicated.

What, croquet or crochet?

Croquet.Well, crochet does too.

Well, let's go and have a look.

Yeah.

There's the man with the dicky hand.You mean his hair?No, not his hair.It's the guy outside.Look at his syrup.He's got...

I used to scare kids with him.And him.I said, could you imagine waking up?And that little boy stood at the bottom of your bed.He's scary.Anyway, let me show you a hair man.

Oh, it's here.They've not done it.They've not brushed his hair.

Right, do you know what?You're only jealous.

It's not very nice, is it?That's a bit cruel.

He's got a rat comb over going on.

He has.Do you remember that, Fairy Diamonds?

No.

No, neither do I. Right, come on, let's go.You want to look at Haberdashery?Let's see what floor it's on.

On the first floor.

Where?

Haberdashery.

Haberdashery.That's what we're talking about.

Yeah.

Did you hear what you said to that bloke that went left?What?I think you embarrassed him.What?He said, what floor are you going to?So this big burly bloke gets it left.

I think I might have been recording accidentally.

I was due.

Yeah, but he gets it left.

I know, how funny was that?I was only...

What did you say?

I went, oh, what?You're going...

Women's underwear.

No, wait, he said second floor, but I was looking at that.I went, oh, yeah, ladies' fashions and underwear.

To this massive bloke.

I thought he was going to turn around and thump me.No, I was joking, he laughed.

Did he?

Look, I've got me men's hankies.

It's fucking glorious out there, isn't it?Fucking fantastic.Right, come on.

I know, did everyone in the lift laugh?

I didn't think so, I thought it was more of an easy silence.Did you?Yes.Here are our Ellie Bobs.

Right, I don't need it too thin.I don't need it shiny.I need medium.Aaron, I need medium Aaron.

Do you?

Apparently.

Are you going to do it properly?Yeah.

But, like me, I need accent colours and like the other colours, you know that go in between?

Yeah.

And I need a 5mm crochet hook.

Right, OK.You do that then.OK. I'll...Right, let me get my glasses on.So, what's your favourite colour?Everybody at home tell us your favourite colour.

I like that one.I like the rainbow.

I know, you like...That's like the pride one.

Yeah, I will...I'm going to knit my own pride flag.Oh, that's nice.Look at that, that's lovely.

Yeah, they said not too fluffy.

No, that's too fluffy.That's what your auntie always said.You know when somebody...a baby in a family, your auntie always knits them a cardigan in that.

Yeah, that's all the baby colours.

They're the baby colours, aren't they?Yeah.There's a bloke talking to a woman on the couch and deep inside her, I can read her mind.He's been there half an hour.Honestly, her mind's like, oh, for crying out loud.She's going to feel an injury in a minute.

Honestly, she's going to kill.

Is she going to go all faint?

It's like desperate measures.

Right, what do you think to these, all together?

It looks a bit pastel -y.But yeah, that's a good choice.I want it muted.Yeah, just get them.Brilliant.

Are you just saying that?No, I'm not.And then that's the colour that binds them all together.Is it?What do you think?This is going to cost a fortune.

So, what do you think to them?

I think they're good colours.

Do you think?Yeah.

Do you know what?I can't get my head around painting by numbers.

Did you used to love that?I hate it.

Who decides?Oh, I'm going to be an artist.But not too much of an artist.

Just a bit of an artist.Did you use to have those foil things that you used to scratch?

Oh God.That comes with three brushes.Three brushes.So one you're going to lose down back at Soper.Another one your dad's going to use to create a soap fence.

Right, the needles are here.

Oh my God.I had to come out.I had to come out and wait for it.Because she would take him forever.That blue woman.

Yeah, that woman was so helpful.

Yeah, but she'd have to listen to that bloke before for about half an hour, and then you come up, changing all colours.Anyway, we've come out, and there's a bit of a market going on, so we have a quick look round.

Yes, look.

Cheese store.I've got some cheese for you, ain't I?Oh, yeah, you've got me some cheese.Yeah, I went to the Isle of Mull.I don't know if that video will have been on yet, but...

There's no Sheffield Wednesday one, is there?

It's not very acceptable.They've even got Chef United.It's because all Wednesday ones have sold out, isn't it?

What's that?

Are we saying Sheffield Wednesday ones all sold out?

No, I've got them.

You've got them?Yeah.All right.

No, I'll tell you what.I did sell out earlier.

Oh, you've got one there, look.

You what?I've had to go in box and pull some more out.

What were that?Wednesday.Wednesday.Ah, you see.Hey.

I tell you, since they've got taken over.

Yeah, it's all changed now.All changed.All plastic fans have come out at Woodwork like me. I like this stall, Ellen.I like that one.Can we go on that one?

Look, mini ducks.

I'm glad I didn't record that bit.Because there was like a stall in the make.The repurpose old, like, antiquey...For afternoon tea, the plate, like the sandwich plates.For afternoon tea.And she obviously buys them from auction and charity shops and stuff like that.

And I'm like, oh, I used to be an antique dealer.That's such and such, isn't it?She goes, no.

But that one's...

She says, no, it's not.So, yeah, I'm rusty now.You are.I'm very rusty.In more ways than one.Yeah.

We need to go down to the beach, onto the harbour, because I need to get your tacky gift.Oh, yeah.I'm actually walking around with an old lady shopping bag full of wool.

Rock and roll.What do you mean old lady shopping bag?

It's my shopping bag.

Yeah, you're an old lady.

You've really gone over the rubicon now.You've passed into it.You've started knitting.We were talking to a woman and she says, you need to watch some YouTube videos for advice on knitting and stuff.She says you should watch him, Tom Daley.I says, he's a diver.

She says, yeah, I know.Seriously.Hiya.Oh, my God.

Can I have a picture?

Yeah, yeah.

Hold on.Sorry.

No, it's all right.That was another classic, wasn't it?When somebody comes up, oh, excuse me.

Oh, yes, yes.Me mum and dad watch you all day.

Very well.We met some young subscribers yesterday, didn't we?Yeah.They were a nice couple.Nikki and Dan.Was it Dan?

Nikki and Dan, yeah, we met them.And their dog.So, yes, it was nice to meet you two guys.

And Chloe, and Aaron, and...

She's started showing up a lot.

Jason, I think.And Alan, who watches us.

And Pete.

And Pete.

Yeah.We met a few yesterday, didn't we?Yeah.Just shut it off there.Yeah.Right, I need to go into Shell Shop to get you a...

Oh, are you going to get me one from here?Yeah, I know, I've got an imagination.It's best...I'll go and have a look.Oh, OK.You wait outside and I'll come out with the best present you've ever had.

I've got you the best present ever.Have you?Yeah, it's...I'm excited!I bought it with all my heart.It's even...

It's in a box!

Yeah, the one you got me didn't come in a gift box.

It came in a bag, a brown paper bag.

Is that the best thing you've ever had?

It is!It's so cute!Oh!

Show it from where it's from.Red letter!It's a ship in a bottle.

I love it.How do they get it in?

Thank you.Not on lips.You've got a cold sore.Not cold sore.

Oh, that is very cute.I love it.

You've got to keep that forever.

I am.Do you know what I might do?I might stick it to me dash in the car.

Yeah, I think you should.

That is really lovely.Thank you.

It's all right.Keep it.We've done equal value now.

Why was it?How much was yours?

That was £2 .99.How much for a crab?£2 .50.Right, you owe me £49p.Cheapskate.Right, so that is ticked off the challenge.

I really love that.There's just one challenge left to do.What's that?And that's crabbing.I've been putting that one off to end.

Do you know what?It's not proper crabbing anymore.You get a bucket, right?You need hooks to catch fish.

Let's... go up to Flamborough.

We can have a look at some crabs on the beach.

Yeah, we're not going to do proper crabbing, we'll just lift some rocks up.They're all doing it here, look.Can we just look at their crabs and do crabbing by proxy?Does that count?

Yeah.

Right, we are just back at the car now, or nearly at the car, and we're going to attempt to head up to North Landing.Are we not going to Flamborough?

I think just go for it.

Well we're going to but I'm just worried that we'll not get parked because it's absolutely rammed everywhere.Bank holiday Monday, the sun is shining and it's not a huge car park there I don't think.So we'll go and have a look.

I think we'll ask the universe and I think that they'll come through for us.

You ask the universe.then.Well, we got lucky there, didn't we?I thought, there's no way, because we've come down this lane, but we're near end here, and a car just pulled off.We're on Grass Verge.We were going to turn around and go back, weren't we?

You were going to drop me off at pub one.

Well, I says that.I'll drop you off at end, and I'll drive right down and park at end.

And I was very disappointed, because I was going to go and have a little drink of booze.

Yeah.So cars are parked, as far as I can see, all the way to Hull.That's Thornwick Bay, they even parked up on cliffs up there.But the main car park's just here.Who's idea was it to come here?Watch that car behind you.

Look at this, Ellie Bobs.This is fab.

This is beautiful.

You can tell it's a bank holiday and it's sunny.

Oh my God, I can't believe how busy it is.

Look at that.That's mental.You'll not find us, but we'll just have to sit up here, alright?We'll just sit here for a bit.I'll go to the cafe, see if we can get a drink.

It's amazing.

We'll just sit on this wall here.Even in shade around there, you know.The couple next to us, they just had some lobster.This is the seafood, and it's supposed to be fantastic, the seafood from there.So, Helen was a bit jealous, weren't you?

It's a 40 -minute wait, and the queue is just massive.I mean, it's lovely.It's very busy.You understand people wanting to come here, don't you, on a lovely day like this?A paddleboard, don't we?

Yeah.I don't think we'll be crabbing.I'm not that disappointed about that, to be honest.Shall we go back up top?It's a bit more, as long as they're chilled out.I think what we're going to do now is, if you're in agreement, start heading back home to get ahead of traffic, because Bangkok traffic is going to be mental.

You've got work tomorrow, haven't you, babes?Yeah.And I've got a sitting van.So if we set off...Sitting the van.

If we set off now, we can get ahead.

We could have some nice tea somewhere, couldn't we?

Yeah, that's what I thought.We'll stop somewhere up there.

Yeah, and we might see, like, a nice country pub.We could sit outside for half an hour.Yeah.You could have a little coke, couldn't you?

I could have a coke.Yeah, we'll do that then.That's what we're going to do.Get away from the madness.Yeah, it is.Absolutely beautiful down there, it's fantastic.

Better in winter though, when you get one of them nice warm days in winter.

We came down in the winter, didn't we?Yeah.

Are you alright?Do you want me to...No, I'm fine, I'm fine.Do you want me to put my hands on my shoulders and pull you up?

No, don't be fussing.Thank you.Do you want a piggyback?Absolutely not.

And just like that, we are back in Barnsley.We're going for something to eat, but I can't be bothered to film anymore.I'm not, you know, we need to relax now, we need to turn up.

Who wants to see us eating?

Who wants to see us eating?We've done enough of that.So we're going to get some tea and then Helen's going home and I'm int back up.Int van.I'm int van.So thanks for watching.

Hope you've enjoyed this little video.We did everything on our list bar crabbing.

And you were pleased about that.

I'm quite pleased about that, to be honest, because I don't like crabs.So we shall see you again soon.

See you there.

Bye.