Weekend Update: Trump Frees George Santos, Young Republican Group Chat Leaks - SNL

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It's Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

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Thank you. Good evening, everyone.

Welcome to Weekend Update. I'm Michael Che.

I'm Colin Jost. Well, yesterday, President Trump finally released what everyone has been asking him to release. Nice. George Santos, the former Republican congressman

who had pled guilty to fraud and something called aggravated identity theft, which I think is when you push someone into a closet and switch clothes with them, is now free and will face zero consequences. But Santos says that he's a changed man,

and he even released a photo of his new prison body.

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Lorde Mizulinski has said that if President Trump provides Ukraine with Tomahawk missiles, he will nominate Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize. You know, the prize they give you for selling missiles. There was outrage this week over a leaked group chat between Republican leaders which praised Hitler

and referred to black Americans as watermelon people. The chat was named Jost Family.

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Mm-mm-mm. What did I do to you? While traveling on Air Force One to the Middle East to celebrate the cease-fire, President Trump told reporters, I don't think there's anything that's gonna get me into heaven. Then he paused for ten full minutes,

waiting for someone to say, that's not true. Because Trump can't go to heaven. He's far too busy down here, running hell.

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President Trump announced that another alleged drug-smuggling boat from Venezuela has been blown out of the water without warning. And you may not think that's a big deal right now, but one day soon, you'll look at yourself in the mirror and realize you're out of cocaine.

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President Trump criticized Time magazine for using a bad picture of him on the cover, saying, quote, -"They disappeared my hair." And I got to agree, that thing do look waxed.

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Oh. John Bolton, who wants people to stop coming up to him

to order chicken, has become the third person on President Trump's enemies list to be indicted. And you know you aren't living your life right when you keep an actual list of your enemies. At least that's what my therapist told me.

So now she's on the list, too. Oh. list of your enemies. At least that's what my therapist told me. So now she's on the list too. Hundreds of people in Portland sent a message to ICE to leave their city by riding their bikes naked through the rain. And you're not going to believe this, it didn't work. A new report shows that of the nearly 100 Trump nominees

confirmed by the Senate, only two of them were black. Two black people out of a hundred. I mean, what is this? My Tinder matches? Nope.

I like that. Argentine president Javier Mele seen here asking if he makes you horny, baby, met with President Trump at the White House this week where Trump announced he's sending $40 billion to Argentina because if history is any guide,

a lot of Trump officials will end up fleeing to Argentina.

Oh.

Okay, one clap. In the clinching, I'm just kidding, I was fine. In the clinching game of the NLCS, Dodger star Shohei Otani pitched six scoreless innings, struck out ten batters, then hit three home runs. It is a feat, it is a feat previously only accomplished by George Santos.

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During the first New York mayoral debate, Andrew Cuomo attacked Zoran Mamdani, saying that he once gave the finger to the Columbus Day statue, whereas Cuomo snuck up behind the statue whereas Cuomo snuck up behind the statue

and grabbed it by the hips. -♪♪♪♪