Weekend Update: Trump Struggles to Focus at Rally, Claims Affordability Is "New Word" - SNL

It's Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

Thank you. Good evening, everyone. Welcome to Weekend Update. I'm Michael Che.

I'm Colin Jost. This week President Trump led a rally celebrating his handling of the economy, which, for some reason, he held at a casino in the Poconos. Just kind of weird to say the future is brighter than ever. Isn't that right, woman on oxygen playing the nickel sloths? Trump's speech was supposed to focus

on the affordability crisis, but he drifted off topic just a little bit.

They don't use the word chief of staff anymore because of the Indians. Can you imagine if Donald Trump married his sister? Do we love minors? I love minors. What?

Don't forget.

Eggs!

Eggs!

I love that the president lost his train of thought and someone in the crowd had to remind him his train of thought was eggs. Sorry. Eggs! As you can see from the sign behind him, the theme of the rally was lower prices, bigger paychecks, which was much better than his original economic message,

not my fault, sell your blood.

This week, President Trump claimed that affordability is a new word made up by Democrats to hurt him. But if Democrats really wanted to make up a word specifically to hurt Trump, it would probably be fat mincha.

Ha-ha.

President Trump also complained about immigrants from countries like Haiti and asked, why can't we have some people from Norway instead? Or how about someone who's Norwegian and Haitian, like Times Square Elsa?

-$1. $2. $3. $4.

$5.

The Department of Homeland Security posted an image of immigration officers in Santa hats with a caption, you're going ho-ho home. Even worse, Santa retweeted it.

$1. $2. $3. $4. Even worse, Santa retweeted it. -♪♪ -♪♪

DHS Secretary Kristi Noem testified before Congress where protesters interrupted her by shouting the line, -"The power of Christ compels you." From The Exorcist. Noem mostly ignored them, but did take one quick look back.

-♪♪♪♪

Last week, President Trump hosted multiple events at the Kennedy Center, including an awards ceremony for Sylvester Stallone, Gloria Gaynor, and rock band KISS, as well as a musical performance by the Village People, which raises the question,

is Donald Trump a gay man from 1978?

In a new interview President Trump said that Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro's days are numbered as opposed to Trump whose days are lettered. Trump also said that the proposed merger between Netflix and Warner Bros. Discovery could be a problem, adding,

Bribe!

In response, Netflix is offering Trump one night with the demon hunters.

The Archdiocese of New York announced that it will set up a $300 million fund for victims of sex abuse. The church encourages victims to claim the money The church encourages victims to claim the money

by sticking their hand in this here hole. and winter vomiting disease, which is better known as SantaCon. -♪♪