When the Linesman Had to Walk Through the Car Park to Escape a Pitch Invasion #football

Port Vale, on the last home game of the season, they had an unwritten rule which was they allow the crowd to come on the pitch, no bother.I said, that's alright.Now he says, listen, I need the match ball to present to the sponsors after the game.I said, okay, if I get the ball back to you, I want some drinks in the dressing room afterwards, like a few beers and look after us.Deal, he says.So I've done signalled to linesmen on the far side thinking I haven't got a fucking clue how you're going to cope.

And honestly, with five minutes to play, five minutes, you can't see the touchlines.They're coming in.The crowd is making a human perimeter.Linesmen are coming in with them there.We're playing a really tight pitch, so I blow the final whistle and run like fuck towards the tunnel.

And I've gone for it.Ball under the arm.I'm fucking running and my legs aren't going anywhere.Because this huge bloke has picked me up and he's trying to get the match ball from under me arm.And I'm trying to fight him off.Eventually, I get rid of him, like, and get up the top.

I go, yes, got the match ball, right?Got the drinks in.Get in the dressing room.One linesman's in, near side.I said, where's Bob?I said, I've got a fucking clue.

This is the linesman on the far side of the pitch.Five minutes later, Bob walks in.I said, where the fuck have you been?He said, the only way I could get over, he says, I had to go out the stand on the far side.I've walked around the carpet.