Hey, I'm DougDoug, I'm a YouTuber. That is actually pretty embarrassing, it turns out. Not because of the actual job, obviously. It's just that when you meet old people, like at a family reunion, or airport, or whatever, and they ask, what do you do for a living? And you're like, I'm a YouTuber!
They don't understand what that means. Their eyes kind of glaze over. And they imagine some guy like screaming at Minecraft on his computer. There's not actual respect for what I do. Not like another artist, not like an author, which is why it's time for this to change. It's why it's time for me to finally get some respect from old people.
It's time for me to introduce my new book, Doug, A Doug Doug Story. This is a real book. It is out now on amazon.com, which means I can introduce myself to people as a published author. Not only that, because I won a Streamer Award that one time like
three years ago, technically I can introduce myself as an award-winning published author. But this is not a good book. This book is the word Doug written about 50,000 times in a row. There's nothing else in here. Every chapter is just Doug. I'd kind of tried to make it look like a story.
There isn't one. I even took chapters from other books entirely just replaced all the words with Doug. Like the sex scene from 50 Shades of Grey or the Bible. Doesn't matter though, because technically this is a book, which means technically I'm an award-winning published author. We even rented this fancy-ass house to take promotional pictures to make this look like a legit
book, which it is! Now of course I'm banking on the fact here that nobody is actually gonna read any of the book, because if they read a single page they'll realize there's nothing in here. But what I'm hoping is they just go on Amazon and they see that it's a real book with a real promotional material of this house. And they see that there's a real forward
by a real author and they go, wow, that's very impressive young man. You're really making a difference in the world. That's all that matters. βͺ And if I find that's my man, look out βͺ for being a part of this next chapter of my life. And thank you for supporting charity, because all of the profits from this book are gonna go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium
so that it's actually for something useful. And that's really great. That's a super good cause. I hope you support ocean conservation, but I just really wanna reiterate, no rational person should read this book.
But hey, neither will the boomers. And that's exactly what we're counting on. So thanks for being here for Doug at Doug Doug Story. Now I'm off to live my life as an author. You
Today's stream is pay to win
Because whoever donates the most money gets put into the top left corner and I have to do whatever they say for 4 hours. If you're the richest, you literally control the stream. But the instant someone donates more than you, you're booted out and I have to do whatever that guy says. And we continue this up until the stream ends. And for reference, 100 bits on Twitch is worth about a dollar.
And you can only increase the total by 500 bits at a time. This is a terrible use of money. Anyways, here we go. Doug, if you need money, just say so. Look, I'm being upfront. This is not a good use of money and you guys could collectively decide to be responsible.
You could all agree not to, you could leave the stream. I don't have to make any money off this and I'm letting you know, and I'm literally gonna try to get myself a nice airplane seat. This is a bad use of money I really want to reiterate this everybody you can put this into savings you could buy gold by sustenance
Thank you for donating all of your bits collected this stream to st. Jude
It's going to really appreciate your generosity dog airplane seat Children's Hospital. I don't even think they're a real hospital There's nothing like heartwarming about this. It's just you're wasting money.
Chat, let's not donate and keep Doug in economy class. No lay down seat for you, Doug.
I want to lay down. It's so nice, dude. You guys got to trust me. I really like it. You got to believe me. Is everybody ready?
We are beginning the actual code thing. In theory, if I do this. Okay. Nothing's happening. I did it.
I want to see you go fast. Yes.
Oh, thank God.
Noodle light.
Oh, that's awesome.
Okay.
I just get to play the video game. I want to play video games and the stream. Now you didn't get to noodle night. Still the most rich. You can't just be as rich as somebody else.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay, okay, what do you want? Can I play haste? Haste is the new game. It's really really fun I meant to play some yesterday. I didn't have time. I'm assuming you're saying okay, because I Get to keep what you're okay with me continuing to play haste. Alright, so I'm gonna play haste
Please if you happen to donate more money. Play wizard 101 and you have to pay for premium
No, I wanna play haste! It's so fun. You got to believe me. Fine, whatever. How do I die? How do I play wizard 101? What is it on Steam? Wizards 101.
Okay, I'm going to download wizard 101. Doug, I will log on right now. Well, you better hope that the next richest person wants me to keep playing wizard 101. Play campaign trail showcase. Okay, I canceled download already finished downloading. What is that campaign? Trail no, we were so close. I did download it. Play Lego Star Wars
We current no you have to be greater than the current richest person. Can you send some tacos? I am so hungry Kate I if you discord me your address right now, I will door dash taco bell to your place.
Hell yeah.
Okay. I actually actually sent her. You better hope that nobody takes the spot in the next like four minutes.
Please don't.
I'm so hungry. I'm going to cancel. Oh, wizard one-on-one is ready to play.
Thank God. Yes. Could you add TTS that says the current bits amount. I'm blind, so can't tell what we are doing. Yes, I don't have to pay for, get K tacos.
Technically a new richest person could pay for that. Wait, sorry, what did you want me to do, blind mage?
Add TTS to tell bits amount.
Oh, like it says the new highest amount. Okay, I can do that, I think.
Even just the number be grand.
Okay, I'm gonna let the code keep going in the meantime. No, no, get back to Wizards 101. Okay, do I have to finish coding the text to speech? It would take one more line of code. I guess technically, unless Noodle Knight tells me to finish this code, we're running with it the way it currently is.
I'm going back to Wizard 101. Okay, here we go. I need you to play a so poor. Okay, can we all agree noodle night is like so hot and rich right now We can all agree It reminds me I prepped this and got it ready of that Futurama clip where fry puts on a captain's hat. Okay
to the ship
Such a man. I'd follow him to hell and back. I would that's how I feel about noodle night I would fall in tonight to hell and back dude Doug you're stalling wizard what fine sign up do I have to this is for children man the default is 13 gameshows thank God okay I'll just minimize that game shows
from the 70s you should donate these money to Lotus children sent to Mongolia
again this is not going to charity this is a bad use of your money. Game show from the 70s.
No, I won!
Wait, what?
Not game shows!
I asked you to donate to Lotus Children's Center Mongolia.
Wait, what?
Hold on, I'm confused.
Wrong person.
So who?
Someone donated 3k. Wait, so who should it be? I can make you the person who's supposed to be the richest I'm the person wait Arceo saying they're the person yes so it's correct arc donated the 3000 I'm confused what is going on text your mommy
what are you neuronically she gave birth to you Doug don't be an asshole what is happening why is the timing off hold on buy a ticket to Tijuana for yourself or play pirate 101 101. Okay, Vyze is the richest? What is happening? Back to Wizard 101, dog, dog.
Wait, but that's not correct. Who's Scooter Pepperoni? What is happening? I also, I'm trying to pause the-
First game in your Steam library gets played.
Wait, why is it Noodle Night? Why is this happening? Oh, because I reset the code. Shit, hold on. What's the current- Okay, who is supposed to be the richest right now? Me. That guy. Me.
Me.
Noodle. What was it at? Somebody was 5,000, right? Was Noodle Knight 5k? Now that's a captain. I'd follow Noodle Knight to hell and back I would. It was Vyse.
Vyse donated- Okay, this is going great. Vice was 5k, Noodleite was 500. Wait, it was Vice! Noodle is lying. You know, he lied so confidently, I would follow him to hell and back, I would.
Truth.
07.
Yes.
Never forget Kate's tacos. Well, nothing is finished. Nothing has actually happened. Vice, are you here? Are you the one who wanted a game 101. What is Pirate 101? What is that? Oh, okay, it's also free.
Let's uh, play game. This is what, the third game of the day? What is this game?
Also get Kate some tacos!
Alright, how do I add a-
In the spirit of the shamelessness going on in this stream, watch slash review the channel
Wobbleh walk on YouTube. Okay, you were live Wobble, what was it wobble on YouTube? Delete haste and your favorites mod. What did you say have to delete? He's okay. I'm uninstalling this
You may play haste, but in return you must ban the already installed it and your favorites mod
So I'm reinstalling haste. I am banning my favorite mod. You know who's my favorite mod? The mod who most recently spoke in chat. And that is Roach. Ban Roach 606.
Okay, let me pause everything. Give me a sec. Don't donate. Do not donate. Do not redeem. It will not register.
I'm going to reset everything. I'm turning this off. Everything is reset. It should be good now. We turn streamer bar on first. This stream is terrible. I wanna play Haste. Haste is a new game by Landfall and it's so fun. Just if some rich ass person,
some hot rich chatter wants to come in here and just let me play Haste.
Remember when you reacted to colors? I miss that I want to see that.
Okay, how about green? That looks pretty good
Do pink next I like green on it. Oh first VIP me. None of my messages got through last time VIP second and ban roach slash modern remod them third get Kate those tacos
Okay, I'm unbanning roach and we're I'm getting tacos again I'm doing it in that order though on fuck you dog band
Tiny little sniveling bald little baby. I don't give a shit about your opinion
But I only care about hot rich people like this fault mod Roach 606. Okay. Welcome back
Third thing is I need to get Kate tacos working on it to be clear I'm still midway through inputting her address the people want tacos and Arkham City richest chatter Listen to the people nobody wants Arkham City
There's one guy who asked for that and then just keep saying we want Arkham City. Nobody cares about that You can't just use the royal we all the time Tacos wait, dude does Kate get to pick or do I just pick them tacos? My rule this month was to not buy myself Taco Bell. This is perfect. Okay, I'm getting you a Nacho cheese Doritos loco taco cantina chicken toasted cheddar Street chalupas. What is any of this? Caliente canteen Sure, fuck it. Okay. I'm sending you five tacos Kate. You've got tacos What is the next thing I'm supposed to do? Play haste?
Do I get to play haste now? Yes, haste. Oh, thank God. Yes. This is what we're here for, dude. Playing haste. This game rips, man. But quickly throw up a poll for president of chat. Who is president of chat?
Refund slash uninstall haste.
No! I'm so close!
I'm in the menu! Fuck! Wait, I don't think I can reef.
Wait, I can reef!
I can only reef 30 minutes.
I've just found out that I'm very liquid. Let's get chair for 10 minutes PLS.
Okay, I didn't have time to uninstall it. I just have to leave for 10 minutes. Do you want music or just this?
Oh, please and jokes were nominated for president
We're so back, okay. All right, Rizzo votes for nominated for president. What is the poll mean? Do you vote roach and fizz for president? Oh, it's wait. It's which one of them is it both you or one of you? I don't know. Whatever. I'm gonna boot up haste. Okay Congratulations to Roach and Fizz. You are President, I don't know what that means. Congratulations now, it's time for us to all watch me play haste Which is what we were here for really this game is like what Sonic games should be Can we all agree? This is the best part of the stream so far Oh, not so fast. No! I was in the level! Fuck! No!
Uninstall. I- I did get
like three seconds.
Ah!
What is Danish food? I don't know what that means. Respectfully. Do I just search that on DoorDash? Wait, I can't, I've already ordered tacos. Cook it in the kitchen.
Whoa, oops.
Reinstall Haste. Yes! Tell us what's good about it while it installs.
Yes!
We're so back.
We want Tarkham City. Doug, please? You promised.
I literally did not. Nobody wants that, first off. Except the one guy. I believe that he wants it.
Whoever is richest, make it Twitch chat plays Haste. Not Doug.
But I want to.
Doug, you have 30 seconds to start telling us why you like Haste.
Oh, I'm sorry.
If you don't tell us, we're going to uninstall.
Okay, alright, hold on.
No scums do what I tell, do we?
I want to play wait hold on what do I call this? Are what this Danish food and what else can you remind me Danish food in Arkham City?
Well on the previous richest chapter to do your explanation To the explanation. Yeah, okay ban
Commissar TDC wait, dude, that's fucked up. He can't even donate now. Okay You didn't tell me to play Hey, so I just have to describe it. It's really good because it's really good movement It's like the mobile game tiny wings where you have to drop on it. Can we play schedule one? What the fuck is schedule? What is this? Okay, I'll buy schedule one. Oh, dude. I just realized how you can be a mega villain. Turbine, look, I'm not saying you do this. It's immoral, but you could ban Fizz because then Fizz can't beat you.
Okay, Turbine's a good, it's an honorable, rich hot guy or girl. Okay, schedule one.
Oh, go back to the explanation.
I feel like you missed your opportunity, dude. Okay, like I was saying, what's so great about Haste is the feeling of momentum when you drop onto a hill at a perfect angle. Because then you speed up and you get extra bonus, so then the more you keep the momentum flowing the better it feels, and then you just go the whole time, and the fact that
it's a road light means it's always-
Oh! Less talky, more hasty.
Yeah!
We're so back, dude!
We're getting the fuck out of Schedule 1. Boo, this game is great. Do I need to explain it to you again? No, can we send you no? Play Schedule one is this a multiplayer game. What is the point of me? Just play dog? Okay, specify a name for your organization dog less talking drug drug motor for Slin
Okay, you will pick a random message in chat every minute and do what he says.
Jesus Christ. Okay, Doug go forward.
Whoever's in charge, tell Doug to end stream.
Play- Okay, I swear this is not a bit. The first message I read was from Fummy and it said play Arkham.
Do whatever chat says.
Oh my god, okay. Arkham. Do whatever chat says. My God. Okay. Arkham city game of the year edition.
Cool.
I will purchase this and how much we are a democracy. That's not how democracy works. You don't elect one guy president every 60 seconds.
And the M we are randomly generated oligarchy.
Okay.
I'm installing the content. It's 20 and we are starting the download Arkham City remember you have to keep reading chat. Oh, right. It's been a minute. Okay. I'm literally a first message I look at go. Okay turbine. I just want to make sure that you want this. I swear this was random I promise I want you to confirm That's what you want that I do what this person said only rule is you must do what chat says every minute
I scrolled I closed my eyes and I highlighted this message from meow Zio That says end stream and so I want to thank everybody for joining today's stream. I hope you had a great time I am so excited for this trip to Japan. A wonderful stream today, everybody. I really do hope you enjoyed it. And GG, have a great one, everybody. I hope you have a great rest of your day. Kate, your tacos just got delivered.
I've received news. Apparently I misread it.
It was not a bit.
The person who told me to end stream was clearly trying to get me to end stream because they said end stream, but then they miss the typo and wrote end steam and that's the one I saw. Wait, are we sure? I'm going to check the footage.
Oh my God.
It says end steam.
Okay.
That means we're still in it. Technically I was told to end steam. I am going to right-click and exit steam We are still going. Fizz, you are the richest chatter. Oh wait, you turned it back on? All the code kept running Nothing changed. The stream just turned off. Okay, I was actually delaying last time because turbo is based So ask turbo for one suggestion. Wait, wait, wait You're saying that turbo, the person who dethroned you and then you dethroned them, and they refuse to ban you like an honorable samurai, you want to give them one request.
Am I reading this correctly?
Yes!
Okay. Turbine, you are a VIP, so whatever you say will appear here. Turbine, what would you like? We await your order. Schedule 1 for 3 hours. God damn it! Can I play this? Okay, fine.
We're booting steam up.
What?
This is maybe the stupidest hour.
Oh, oh. Say end stream. Oh seven chat. See you guys next time.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been an honor.
No.
God damn it.
I was excited.
Okay. What, what do I do now?
Fizz? I was excited. Okay. What what what do I do now? Donate $5 to Monterey Bay. That's it I've made like a thousand dollars. I whatever you want then go back to haste. Okay, so we're stopping schedule one We're going to Monterey Bay Aquarium donation and you want me to five dollars? Okay, they're gonna see it's from me They're gonna be like hey make it in the underscore wobble Hawks name if you get an object Okay, never mind instead. It will be from the wobble Hawk five dollars
And that is it my address or is it Kate's address? I have her address ready wait Kate Can I can I show the picture? Okay. Okay. Let the record show that Kate received tacos from DoorDash. That is proof And let the record show can I I show your cats? Kate has cute cats.
Can you put it in my name so I can get the tax write-off? I don't think that's how it works. I think I get the tax write-off because I'm spending the money. Hello Fizz, I'd just like to say you're based AF and I hope you keep the VIP after this stream. You're a person I'd follow to hell and back I'd follow Fizz to hell and back I would
What am I doing now?
Go make Fizz falter permanent VIP. They deserve it Also, Doug don't feel sorry for that much money. You deserve it. Also before Fizz spends 18,000 bits and gets broke. I share my power with them. Okay, so what's your face?
So if it says anything I also do a fist says okay permanent VIP deal. What's the next thing? Don't feel sorry for this much money. Okay. Sure. I won't I share my power with fizz Also play. Okay, so we're playing haste. We were beat. We're haste. We're playing haste. Yes. Yes. Oh, we're so back. I am now kinda high, but this doesn't seem like schedule one. Fine, let's play haste. You donated... Just to tell me to keep playing haste. It's already open. How high are you? Am I just like stealing from high people who don't understand what's going on? This is real money, by the way.
Okay, I'm gonna continue the shard run here. This is one of the harder levels so if I make it to the end- Doug, I'm fine financially, don't worry. Okay, alright, as long as you are- as long as I'm not taking advantage of somebody who's on drugs.
I'm only taking advantage of just a rich person, I guess. on repeat 3 play Skyrim, but totally normally explore can I fun and follow the main story because you never have For right. I love scooter on your forehead. I love scooter. Okay, that'll just go here
Oh on my forehead
Uninstall steam see if anyone donates more to stop me
beam
Yes, someone did I was one click away Instantly found fizz and then the rest of the weekly top cheerer
ban fizz fault I Got the ban in and the top 10
Cheerers all of the hottest richest people are being taken down in a single play by Ashley Amber
No more bounding. Oh, okay
The other top 10 were saved but we do need a F in the chat for Fizz who was honorably banned Unban Fizz and play haste and like a Phoenix Fizz Rises from the ashes dude That strategy was so good to try to take down the top ten and then turbine sniped it before I could ban them all that actually would have secured kingship for probably like an hour Cool, I don't far as I'm aware. I don't actually have to do anything else right now play schedule one
Emote only mode so no one can use up me until we finishing watching the YouTube video called hamsters spinning on a wheel
By the other things 0 to I'm sorry to tell you this that doesn't work for VIPs I know you just spent like two hundred dollars on this But I can't that's not how emote only works and that means somebody else can dethrone you it's okay I'm gonna open up hamster spinning on wheel
No
Time for more chaos reset of bits required reset the bits okay you
should be able to redeem now hold on oh my god play haste 1,000 for please oh my
god yes yes yes close cuz one close to everyone please please please oh and
install steam no shit hold on I have open, I can do it really quick.
Uninstall.
Yes.
Uninstall.
Oh, nevermind.
End stream, no comeback.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a great time. I'm gonna go play Haste. Farewell, chat. Time for me to buy a flight to Japan. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the true ending of the stream. What a heartwarming story about how I made, let's see, $8000!
That is actually too much money! That made me feel uncomfortable. So I did go donate all of that to charity the next day. But please, for the love of god, do not take this as a lesson that you should give money to streamers You know who you should give money to The Monterey Bay Aquarium, that's right. We're doing a Monterey Bay Aquarium charity stream right now
I'm streaming every day from the 10th to the 14th If you love the ocean If you love the ocean Please stop by and support a really good cause click the link below or a shark will eat you
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