Xi Makes Trump Climb Stairs, Learn Ancient Greek History & Tremble Over Taiwan Talk | The Daily Show

President Trump is in China right now, and the whole U .S.news media has gone along with him, which means we at home are getting a rare look at some of China's cultural wonders.

This is the Family Mart convenience store in Beijing.Inside is a Galbot robot, the dominance of AI.Beijing is trying to lead the way in AI and also in humanoid robots.Let's go inside.This is the first of its kind for this kind of interaction.If you want to order something, hello, can I get a sausage, please?

A sausage?You went to China, home of one of the most famed cuisines in the world, and ordered a convenience store sausage?Fred, you're making us look weird in front of our future overlords.Although, it could be worse.Usually, when someone at Fox News asks someone to grab their sausage, it comes with a $10 million lawsuit, so...By the way, look at that robot just standing there in the back.

I love that even in our tech future, there's still one guy at work that does absolutely nothing.But as for the summit itself, Trump's welcome got off to a nice start when he was greeted by children upon children upon children.But then things took a turn for the worse when Trump was confronted by stairs upon stairs upon even more stairs.But after all the greeting and the stair climbing, it was time for the actual summit, a chance for President Xi to explain his position in simple, clear terms Donald Trump could understand.

President Xi said that he hoped the two countries could avoid the so -called Thucydides trap.It's a historic reference about a great power being threatened by the rise of another.

Dammit, G!You're gonna hit President Trump with a Thucydides trap?You're making his brain go up a flight of stairs.Come on, all right, President Trump, don't let this guy history -mog you.Show... show him you can communicate in equally sophisticated terms.

Chinese restaurants in America today outnumber the five largest fast -food chains in the United States all combined.That's a pretty big statement.

Yeah.That's my president.Putting his understanding of geopolitics into fast food terms.He gives a summit speech like a third grader who got assigned China for his geography project.In conclusion, China is a land of contrast.And I brought Panda Express for everyone!

I got to say, it appears to be a good sign to see all this bridge building.Because I was under the impression that our relationship with China was growing increasingly tense and bitter, especially over Taiwan, which China wants to take back, and we want to keep independent.But I'm sure all the goodwill between Xi and Trump carried over into their closed -door meeting about Taiwan.

During a two -hour closed -door meeting, Xi reportedly delivering a stark warning to Trump on the issue of Taiwan, which China sees as its territory.Xi telling Trump if the issue is handled poorly, the two countries will collide or even clash.

Ho, ho, ho.Tough talk, President Xi.Perhaps you've forgotten that you're talking to America, the country that's just about to start kicking Iran's ass any day now.And if you want to step up to us with all this Thucydides crap, then why don't you do sit on these nuts?Now, I know Donald Trump's not gonna take a tongue -lashing like that.Our president's definitely not gonna walk out of those talks looking like he's...

hostage video.

How were your talks, sir?Great.

Holy shit, what happened in there?That was like asking Tiger Woods how the drive home went.DT, do you want to expand on that?Maybe defend Taiwan?Great place.Incredible.

China's beautiful.

in the meeting that made him really not want to talk about Taiwan.He's out there like, don't you guys want to talk about anything else?Jeffrey Epstein?I got a lot of redactions.I got time, let's chat.So after day one of this trip, I definitely have way more questions than answers.

What did Xi say to Trump behind closed doors?Can our two nations avoid the famous two centipedes trap?How many Chinese restaurants are there in the U .S.?Hell, I don't even know if Bret Baier ever got his sausage.

This is the first of its kind here, and they say there are gonna be many different iterations, so there's a real big back and forth.

It's just a -a loose sausage on a plate.Robots are like, I know you're going to eat this with your hands, you American pig.For more help understanding the summit and the complexities of China, let's go live to Ronny Chieng.Of course we have to check in with you for this.

Yeah, what do you mean, of course you're checking in with me?Why, why of course?

Well, I mean, you've got your, you have your, you have your expertise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In what, in what?You are, when I'm thinking of you, when I'm thinking of you, I think you are, with your expertise, you have, you are, you are, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're Chinese, right?

Yes, but, well, no, that doesn't mean I'm the China guy.Okay, I don't assume you're the expert on Slenderman just because of how you look.

Okay, mean but accurate.But as long as you are here, why don't you help with this?I need information.

No, no, no.I'm putting my foot down, all right?I'm not your China expert.I'm not even from China.Hey, Jordan, I think I can help.

Wait, who is that?

Who is that?Wait, Josh Johnson!It's Josh Johnson!

Beijing, or should I say Konichiwa, Jordan.

Okay, great.Fantastic.Uh, Josh, you can be our China expert.What can... what can you tell us about the U .S.summit with China?

Jordan, to fully understand the China summit, you must first understand China.It's a proud but suspicious culture, driven by the fear that, at any moment, Godzilla might show up and tap dance on everybody, all right?I'm talking stumping out buses like cigarette butts.

Oh.I mean, that is truly fascinating.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What the...Zilla is Japanese, you dipshits.

That's not Chinese.I'm sorry, Ronnie.I thought you said you didn't want to be the China expert.

Yeah, I didn't want to be, but I mean...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.no, no, no, no, no.Then let our China expert file his report.Josh, continue.

Thank you, Jordan.Yesterday, Trump and Xi sat down for a dinner of a traditional Chinese dish, pad thai noodles.The...

Thai, like Thailand.You...I mean, I'm so sick of Americans making no effort to differentiate the countries in Asia.

Oh, I -I'm sorry, Ronny, that sounds like something a China expert would say.It was under the impression you weren't one.

Yeah.Why don't you leave China to the Chinese experts?As Mr. Miyagi said in The Art of War...Hadouken!

That is...Don't applaud that.That is so...That is so... ...ignorant.I don't know how to reply to that.

I...You know what?Fine, forget it.I don't give a shit.

Thank you.This summit comes at a tense time for President Trump, who wants China to help with the Iran war, while China wants America to help huntricks fight all the demons.Okay, okay, that's...K -pop demon hunters.Yes, indeed.It seems that Ronnie's son has learned much from me.

His Chinese sensei.Interesting fact, Jordan, the K in K -pop is actually an ancient Chinese symbol, which translates to ka -Chinese.Okay.

This is very helpful.This is very helpful.I'm learning so much.Thank you, Josh.Thank you.

No, you're not.Everyone is getting dumber.The K in K -pop stands for Korean.Josh, you don't know shit about China.

It's not my fault I'm the second most Chinese guy in the office, okay?What does that even mean?I don't know, but if I wasn't a...expert, how would I know every member of the Wu -Tang Clan?All right, watch watch the RZA the JZA ghostface killer method man Raekwon how many can you name?

Okay.Okay.Well you took all of them annoying Wu -Tang doesn't mean you know more about China Cappadock master killer inspector deck.

You got old dirty bastard.Holy shit Suck it Ronnie.

Yeah, suck it Ronnie.Shut up.Shut the fuck up all of you Goddamn it, all right, I'll be the China expert.Okay.Okay, yeah.

If you want to.Awesome.If you want to.So, as the China expert, how do you think America should navigate the Taiwanese independence and the threat of war with China?

Okay, you know what?I'll pass.I'll pass on this one.And how about you...Josh, you fix Taiwan, all right?Happy to.

Now, is Taiwan one of the demon hunters?

Okay, uh, Ronny Chieng and Josh Johnson, everybody.